OMG UPDATE: Question? Answer.

Updated on Tuesday, April 26

#7584

QUESTION: I was wondering if anyone has ever fallen for one of their best friends? I'm a male and told one of my best friends that I had developed really strong feelings for her over the almost the last year. iPad hesitant to tell her because I kind of knew she wasn't wanting a relationship but I couldn't be in my own head anymore with these feelings.


So we met for coffee and I told her how I felt about her and that I knew that this could complicate thing but I really wanted to give something like this a try with her. She said she didn't want to get into anything right now and that she didn't want to try something where I felt so much more strongly about it than her.

She is one of my best friends but things have become awkward between us over the course of the term. There's days where I'm okay around her and our other friends, but then there's times where I see the cute, athletic and amazing girl I fell for and I make things awkward again between us. I don't want to make things worse because I don't want to break apart us or the rest of our close friends because she was one of my closest friends.

Do I keep trying to be okay and try to fix things between us until I can find someone who makes me feel this way again? Should we talk about anything between us? Has anyone else been in a situation like this?

4 comments

  1. I don't think she has any romantic feelings you

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  2. Well, to begin with good for you for having the courage to tell her about how you feel. That being said it sadly doesn't seem like she's interested. IMO the best course of action would be for you to move on. If that means that you can't have the same level of friendship that you did before than that's just going to have to be something you accept for the time being.

    I think you're right that you could potentially fall for someone else and that'll help you get over her quicker, but that doesn't seem like the best course of action as you're waiting for someone to show up and solve your problem for you. It doesn't really seem like you two have anything to talk about. If she was being completely honest then she doesn't want anything atm and you should respect that, if she was being nice (which is the more likely scenario imo) then you really have nothing to talk about.

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  3. I was in this situation a while back. I don't think there's anything to talk about unless her feeling change, and that'll be on her anyway. Just do your best not to think about it and move on. In my case I eventually found her pretty annoying and we haven't spoken in years...so there's that.

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  4. Good on you for having the courage to ask. I was in a similar situation recently and I know it helped me to sit down and have a conversation about where we both stood in our relationship -- acknowledging the fact that he didn't have feelings for me and I wanted to make things "un-weird" again. Unfortunately, things didn't really get "un-weird" and I'm sort of in a limbo about our friendship, but I think it was the best thing to do in the moment and you might consider talking to her about it.
    Relationships kinda suck sometimes and it'll take time to figure everything out again. I hope you two can stay friends.

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