OMG UPDATE: Question? Answer.

Updated on Thursday, February 25

#7539

QUESTION: Might be a bit of an odd question but I'd be interested to hear opinions.

If a girl approached you (men, I'm talking to you) in a relevant context and offered a FB type relationship with zero emotional factors involved BUT she has a boyfriend who allows her to do this (I.e. open relationship), what would your reaction be?

I'm curious to see how many guys are receptive to this (and where you are hiding!).

368 comments

  1. Do I get to fuck your boyfriends vagina after I'm done with yours?

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  2. As a guy in a similar situation I would be very open to this. I'm willing to bet that most guys would also be receptive to it. Problem is the relevant context -- we need some kind of website that doesn't just devolve into thousands of desperate men sending dick picks to every woman.

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  3. There's never "zero emotional factors involved" -- even if you just simply find each other attractive and want to have a little fun. The very fact there's any sort of connection means there's "emotional factors involved". As long as the existing BF is fine with that fact and is mature enough that he isn't going to reconsider his position and get possessive in the middle of the process, then sure, I'd be open to that.

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    1. I would agree! But I think we need to know what is in it for him? As well as his motivation. OP can you clarify this?

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    2. I am getting the feeling that he does not participate in the open relationship. So I would also be curious to hear what is in it for OP's bf. It does not sound like a cuckold thing, as OP would just fuck who she wanted and force him to comply.

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    3. OP here. You're right, there is never "zero emotional factors" present. There is physical attraction and some attraction to the personality.

      It's also about maturity on both sides. As long as the FB is receptive to the rules and respects the situation, existing BF should have no problem in his position. The trust is already there for me (i.e. the woman), but the FB is now a third person who is in some way involved in the relationship, even if it is only directly with the girl.

      What's in it for him is a lot of things. It's not cuck because as Anon said above, I do not force him to comply, he's 100% involved in the decision-making process. I'd say it's because it's fun, almost vicariously living through me (he feels satisfied with his own past sexual experiences). Brings something different to the relationship. Above anything it's facilitated and motivated by trust.

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    4. Welcome back OP! Where is the problem? Is the only problem situated in locating a FB?

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    5. Thanks love! Yes in short, Tinder is tedious and awkward, and it's really not the kind of thing people are receptive to talking about.

      Hence, I was super curious about people's views on it. Unfortunately, regardless of whether people seem generally intrigued or cool with the concept, doesn't solve the problem of finding someone reliable and trustworthy for it.

      OP

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    6. Would you be willing to share some of the experiences you have had? The best and the worst?

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    7. It's a bit of a mixed bucket there. I've had great, super satisfying experiences with individuals who don't actually want to go along with the rules. I.e. Kind of ruins it for both of us when FB thinks I can just do whatever I want without consulting BF. The point is to keep him in-the-know, that's expressed clearly in the beginning, but being the guy she cheats with is more appealing than having the BF's permission! Win-lose.

      On the other side, I've had unsatisfying experiences with amazing guys who really truly respect the system. Win-lose.

      No win-wins yet, unfortunately! I'm in it to find a FB who I can share an awesome, mutually beneficial experience with who respects to rules.

      OP

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    8. Is FB being "that guy" appeal to yourself as well? Does your BF have to be "in-the-know" before you are able to be with somebody? Do you have the ability to take, apposed to it being given?

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    9. It's not my ideal, but there's a reason we've deduced that that's the best path. I personally prefer more dominant guys. In the beginning he knows everything, I let him know when and where. Further in, when everyone is comfortable, I have the ability to take more.

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    10. Compromise is clearly the way to make this work. What do you offer him in return for the opportunity that he allows you?

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    11. He gets a gf with a super high sex-drive. I tell him about my experiences and I'm super experimental with him as well so he's a happy boy.

      OP

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    12. Sounds like one heck of a good deal for you!
      Very high margins on your side.
      He must lover you a lot to give you what you want. That is very honorable and generous of him.
      Those must be some damn good stories you tell;)

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    13. Believe it or not, the margins are pretty equal. May not seem like it!

      And yes, he's a really cool guy. The best ;)

      Aaaaaaand yes, if I do say so myself. Pictures help illustrate.

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  4. >open relationships
    why do people unironically allow themselves to be cuckolded

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    1. Maybe because their relationship is built on more than just the mutual satisfaction of physical needs? I know, seems like a crazy concept to the red pillers out there whose most intimate relationships are with their gym buddies.

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    2. Of course any good relationship should be built on more than just physical satisfaction, but don't you think that (based on what I've read from OP's comments in the thread) having sex with men other than the bf with "no emotional attachment" is precisely an example of relationships built purely on physical satisfaction.

      In general, monogamy is the most stable civilisational family-structure, so of course such polyamory is degenerate as well.

      Nice ad hom. by the way, but I'm afraid I'm not a redpiller.

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    3. That's the point though. OP's relationships between the FBs and the bf are different -- with the FBs it's just physical satisfaction, with the bf it's something more. If they were equal or became equal, there would be a much greater risk of jealously.

      As for monogamy being stable, given that the divorce rate is around 50% these days, that's not a particularly convincing argument. Not saying full on polyamory would do better, but something is clearly not working with modern society.

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    4. 4c: Doesn't that imply that the bf doesn't physically satisfy the gf then? Sounds like a very vulnerable relationship to me.

      Maybe the divorce rate is so high because of the very recent dramatic rise in a person's average sexual partners and adultery? These are definitely factors at least, which have transformed Western society from a stable-monogamous to a serial monogamous relationship structure.

      Historically, monogamy has typical been much more stable than polygamous relationships (the latter being often harem-based and oppressive to women).

      Plus there's the strong correlation between a woman's previous number of sexual partners and their likelihood of divorce over a 10-year marriage period.

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    5. @4d: I definitely believe that there is a correlation, but I'm not sure its necessarily because more sex makes people less faithful. Women who have more sexual partners are also more likely to look out for themselves and leave a relationship which has deteriorated to the point of no return.

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    6. @4d When you're in a relationship, does your significant other satisfy your need to interact with other humans? In other words, do you only spend time with your companion or do you go out and spend time with friends too? If you spend time with others, does that mean your significant other isn't satisfying your emotional needs? A girlfriend or boyfriend doesn't need to completely satisfy your every need, and I think that's what trips a lot of people up.

      Polygamy is something completely different than polyamory/open marriages/monogamish, so your point there is disingenuous.

      4e handled the point about the correlation between previous sexual partners and likelihood of divorce pretty nicely. The correlation could also have to do with the fact that they've experienced and found they liked having sex with different partners, which is at odds with their monogamous marriage. The solution to that isn't to not have many sexual partners -- that would be like saying the solution to Plato's cave is to never leave the cave in the first place.

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    7. 4e: I never implied that having multiple partners causes one to have on average more risk of divorce. I'm saying that having had many previous sexual partners and continuing to want them should be seen as a warning sign because of the correlation, which is what would make the relationship vulnerable.

      4f: Comparing friendly relations and sexual relations is very inaccurate since they employ very different dynamics, and friendship is much more suited by its nature to multiple connections than sexual relations.

      Point taken, though what I was trying to imply is that polyamorous relationships often take on a similar dynamic to polygamous or polygynous relationships, which are harmful to the other party.

      This might seem far off, but romantic relationships should (in my opinion) be entered into with a final goal of marriage and children in mind. Non-monogamous relationships consistently result in underachieving children and it usually fucks up the family dynamic. Now, the partners above may not want or be able to start a family, but most people in fact can and do want to have children because of their instinct.

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  5. I did this. She's my gf now and it's definetely a closed relationship lol

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    1. Which end were you on?

      As in, you were the FB and she was being shared?

      Curious - OP

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    2. She was in an open relationship and we started fucking. Both agreed to no feelings, strictly physical etc. Ended up hanging out more and more. She broke up with her bf and we started dating like a month later.

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  6. What do you look for in a FB?

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    1. Physical-wise, I wouldn't say I have specific specifications, I just have to be attracted to the person. A few preferences are height, I love tall (likely because I'm very petite). I like the outward appearance of confidence, and that looks different on everyone. However, well-endowed is preferred, if ya know what I mean.

      Personality, through experience we've found less-dominant personalities work. Because it is a trial-and-error type of thing, it is always smooth when the FB is willing to compromise on some things, take things slow, and not push the boundaries too much. With that being said, I love pushing boundaries, but in moderation helps with the process.

      OP

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    2. I find it very interesting that you lean towards the less-dominant side.
      What boundaries do you enjoy pushing? Emotionally or sexually?

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    3. Answer the question that most guys want an honest answer to! Does size matter/is bigger better?

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  7. 6.b., the choice to aim for less-dominant was a logistical choice. Generally safer (which is a huge thing with this) and less risk. Honesty if it were up to me alone, I'd go for super dominant, I'm really into that.

    I enjoy doing things I don't think he'd approve of or expect. Always sexually. I don't ever push emotional boundaries because those are firm and could actually hurt someone.

    And 6.c., size does matter. HOWEVER, if you don't know how to use it it really doesn't matter. You could have 9 inches and suck, in that case I'd take 6 with skill and confidence any day. But I do generally prefer bigger.

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    1. How dominant do you like? How much more enjoyable would it be to have that?
      What have you done that he has not approved of? Have you had sex with someone without his prior approval?

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    2. When is the next time you plan to be with someone else?:)

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    3. I like someone who takes control sex-wise. But then can shut it off and follow our rules ;) but makes me want to push the rules.

      I used to piss him off a lot, haha! Usually he gives me rules, things I'm allowed to do when with the guy or time limits. I often break those rules, get caught up can't help it.

      But no, I have not had sex without his approval, gotta be someone prettty damn worth it for that.

      As for next time, as soon as possible. I'm bored

      OP

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    4. Have you had anyone worth taking without his approval?
      Get on that! Unless you do not currently have anyone?

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    5. Yes I have.

      I have someone right now, but our schedules are quite opposite unfortunately.

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    6. Do you plan on doing it with the individual that is worth it?
      That does sound unfortunate!

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    7. As well as why have you not already?

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    8. I have not, and potentially. I'd prefer someone new.

      OP

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    9. Potentially? Why?
      You just said he was worth taking, as well that you enjoyed pushing. Yet you want someone different?

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  8. Shit. I would ligit pay my bf to let me do this. Girl you are so lucky. You need ro tell me your secret... you must give him damn good head. Luckiest. girl. ever.

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    1. We should get together! Do you guys do anything exciting?

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    2. Nothing. So fucking bored. I haven't felt desire in months...
      I would kill for what you have.
      So jealous of you. Treat that boy good.

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    3. Getting to have sex with others while still maintaining a great supportive relationship and not having to worry about him fucking someone else................. duuuuuuudddddeeeee

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    4. @8: I can guarantee that he's also bored as hell. Not sure about your experience, but I had an ex say very similar things about our relationship once it was over and all I could think of was the dozens of times she shut me down over trying new things. Boring begets boredom.

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  9. Oh no, maybe talk about it. You might be spruced with what he's interested in or open to trying!

    Or foursome!

    OP

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    1. Most boyfriends won't even let another man lay eyes on their property....

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  10. That's a trust issue. I'm not into the jealousy thing. Once that's out of the way, you can have so much fun!

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    1. But he would want the same. No one wants to share. You have the greatest situation

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  11. What about threesomes? You're both present and benefitting. No need to worry that way.

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    1. He would not have one with another guy. Trust me, I have tried...

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  12. Does OP feel entitled to have sex with others?
    If BF was not interested in continuing this, would it cause issues in the relationship?
    Does OP not enjoy sex with the BF?

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    1. No, certainly not. I know i am not entitled to it by any means, that isn't what it's about. We've done it on and off, it's never been a problem. I would have zero problem stopping it at any point.

      This isn't a lifestyle, it's an experiment. It's fun and something that tests our relationship in a positive way. We've learned much more about each others desires and needs, that's what it's about. "Us" is at the core of this.

      And yes, I very much enjoy sex with the BF, that is not why we do it.

      OP

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  13. Yea OP, why aren't you fucking the guy that is worth pushing the rules for/taking without asking?

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    1. Because the BF wouldn't want me to, and when he says no it's a no.

      I know where to push, that's not one of the places. I honestly wouldn't do it unless I was confident it would benefit both of us. The FB in question certainly would not, it would only benefit me. If there ever even the slightest chance my action would hurt him, I wouldn't give it a second thought.

      OP

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  14. That is great of you. It sounds as though you are committed to the mutual pleasure.
    Have you been tempted to?

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    1. Tempted, sure. The temptation is fun, but it wouldn't go beyond that in touchy cases like the one outlined above.

      I think he enjoys my temptation too, though. But it does a lot for your relationship if both of you know one person has the chance and ability to take advantage of that situation, yet still doesn't. Really reinforces the amount of trust. I have never "cheated", and I would call it that if I didn't think he'd approve.

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    2. Your temptation and desire are what he finds attractive? To have something that you should not?
      How strong is this temptation for this person?
      How does the BF experience your temptation? You tell him about it?

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    3. How much stimulation do you have to give BF, in order for him to feel as though both sides are receiving equal value?

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    4. Haha, yes in some way. I think it's sexier (from his perspective) that I don't take it to be honest, that I always, always, always pick him over anyone else.

      Well this person was a good time, highly tempted to go for round 2 but that's my vagina speaking, so to say.

      I'm vocal about what I want, he enjoys openness even if it never amounts to any action. It's always fun to share your desires with your SO. It is healthy too as it leads to development in your own sexual relationship.

      4.c: Being open about my desires is what stimulates him. Even if it's not him I desire at a given moment, he loves hearing about it because there's nothing sexier than honesty. Maybe from his view he wants to give me the things I desire himself, which he often does.

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    5. Would he ever give you "Round 2"? Or is it something that would only can be taken? Ignore the fact that you wouldn't.
      Wow, it is great to hear that all he needs is to hear your desires. I would hope that you give this to him often, as it seems that having sex with others is not proportionate to what he receives. Maybe it is to him, I suppose we all have different values.
      It sounds as though you are both very in-tune with one another. I hope you are able to find a stable FB!

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    6. Value this relationship and this man. You will never find a dynamic that works this well with ANYONE else.
      You are hella lucky!

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    7. With this particular guy, probably not. He proved to be a bit threatening.

      Haha, yes there are other things he gets and loves but I won't go into that. We certainly make it proportional.

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    8. 14.f: Thank-you, I do. :)

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    9. What is the next step? What are you going to boundaries are you going to push next?

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    10. It may be worth trying to work him into the individual who you want badly.
      Over time, he may grow comfort if you show how interested you are? Maybe compromise? Even though you may not receive it, the outward desire towards having it may provoke strong sexual pleasure for him?

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    11. 14.i: Good question, I'll admit I'm a little stuck. I don't have a reliable FB to even push boundaries with at this point. While that is sort of the goal at this point, there are always other things to explore. I.e. Past FB's, since we have an established trust system, doing that without permission would probably show BF the kind of desire 14.j mentioned. He'd enjoy that I took something for myself and feel good about who I chose.

      Or, I could push that a bit farther and use someone new for a one-time thing. I.e. someone I meet on my own time through some sort of social event (bar maybe). Biggest problem with that is time, I simply don't have time to go out haha.

      What would you suggest, given what you know about me/us? This conversation is far more productive than my studying right now.

      14.j: I have tried haha, there is quite the back story with this one. I think BF is threatened by my high level of desire for this one person, which is out of character so I don't push too much. I imagine it's got something to do with his past.

      And I do compromise in that manner, we talk about him all the time actually because I do have "temptation" and "desire" and all that jazz, he loves to hear about it but I think being able to actually give it to me is really hard for him. I don't hold it against him, it really doesn't bug me!

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    12. Take someone from the past. BF clearly wants to see your desire and that would be one way of showing it.
      Do you have anyone that you do want to take for yourself?
      From what it sounds like, the process of choosing a FB is very important to him. He needs to be a part of that in order to feel comfortable. I would say that the best option is to do it with someone from the past. BF has already allowed it to occur, meaning that the trust is there and it was someone that he had previously approved. Take someone and see how it goes. See where he is at after that and base your next choice on his reaction.
      Although he may be threatened, the more it is talked about the more comfortable he may become. This would allow over time, him to be able to handle the FB who you want. Maybe spontaniously showing desire to it would allow him to see that it is not as uncomfortable as he may think. You could also sit BF down and explain that this is a goal you would like to achieve and ask him how you can achieve it.
      Take something for yourself! Do you have a particular FB in mind?

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  15. Question for OP: Who broached the subject and how did they do it?

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    1. Great question, I was waiting for this.

      Some may interpret this as strange and weak, so read it with an open mind and keep any super negative comments to yourselves please, out of respect.

      The BF had a pretty messed up relationship before me. It was emotionally abusive and he was cheated on multiple times. He has had other struggles in his life that contributed to a somewhat warped view of what a functional, safe, and loving relationship should be, but this was definitely a big influence on him. Long-story-short, I think when we got together he felt offering it was the easiest way to not get hurt or to maybe "manage" me in some way. I.e. if I give her permission, I can't get hurt.

      This prompted some long conversations, obviously. It took him a long time to understand how a good relationship should function and that this wasn't the way to fix things, also that he shouldn't have to do it that way.

      I wanted to show him that he could trust someone, and believe it or not this actually turned out to be a really good way to do it. It taught him he had a voice in a relationship, that we were equal and that is how it should always be.

      I had never considered something like this prior to him, in fact I'm actually quite shy and unadventurous. But it became fun for the both of us and we both started to enjoy the challenge and excitement. It's really only happened a handful of times.

      We've been together for 3 years for those who want to know.

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  16. That makes it sound like, although he may not admit it to you, he's doing this in part because he thinks he'd lose you if he didn't allow you these dalliances. Since this wasn't your idea, and wasn't part of your relationship dynamic in the past, "teaching him he has a voice" sounds like it would hold more merit if you would have assured him you wanted to be with him regardless and that to show him that you were different from other girls in his past, you wouldn't take him up on his offer. But I will stress that I only know the part of the story that you're presenting, so I'm not saying this judgementally, just giving my impression, which you're inviting by putting this out publicly. Even though he's tacitly agreeing to you having FBs, it seems exploitative on some level, even if he'd deny that, just because you say his history makes him perhaps unable to see what a truly functional relationship is and what asking for one's needs would be. Although perhaps you two have covered this in private conversations, and you're satisfied that this truly is one of his turn-ons, that he enjoys being cuckolded.

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    1. Fair interpretation. I did not jump on it right away, so I'd argue I am not exploiting his request.

      And yes, he enjoys being cuckholded, sometimes it often appears he enjoys this more than I do. But I have been avoiding that due to the amount of judgement that would likely flood it. Though I'll add, I wouldn't call it cuckholding because I do not make him do this, impose it on him, make him go along with it, or take whatever I want.

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    2. No one offers that for 3 years to protect themselves. The relationship is CLEARLY stable. OP is not taking advantage of BF.
      OP is satisfying BF's desires.
      BF is satisfying OP's desires.
      They found a balance that works and are able to both enjoy themselves. If BF felt like he HAD to give her this, he would not tell her that he had a problem with Mr. Threatening.
      Enjoy your sexuality while you are still young.
      Stable relationship + sexual exploration = best of both worlds.

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    3. "no one offers that for three years." Let me replace that with "no one stays in an abusive relationship for three years." Now, I'm by no means equating the two, that would be absolutely ridiculous; just pointing out how flawed your reasoning is, 16b. People carry on in situations that are not healthy for them, or ones that they do not enjoy, or even ones they say they enjoy because they fear losing them if they say they don't enjoy it.

      So the relationship is not CLEARLY stable, no matter how many caps you use. There's a complex history with the bf according to OP, and that could muddy things.

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    4. I shall give you on the basis that it may be muddy 16.c
      I am sure things are not as perfect as they seem in this description. I am going to assume that it was very challenging for both of them in the beginning as it is a very tough thing to work up to. I am sure large amounts of mud have been walked through at times, as have many relationships. As long as they communicate and are able to honestly see each other’s point of view then it is okay.
      But at the end of the day, we know nothing about BF and OP. Allow us to go into this conversation with the mindset that both BF and OP are on the same page and equally enjoying themselves.
      Sure, if one is taking advantage of the other, that changes everything. That makes this entire thread obsolete and things need to be worked out between the two of them. But the entirety of this conversation has been based upon the assumption that they are both able to make good decisions and enjoy each other’s sexuality in different ways.
      I don’t think a relationship like this means that it is unstable or that either OP or her BF are enjoying something that is wrong. Allow us for the sake of exploring OP's desires and interests, that everything is equal and all is fair between both parties.
      Although it may be unconventional and some may see it as a very negative thing. If OP and BF are able to have a fair and loving and stable relationship, then who are we to judge?
      I think critiquing the relationship is wrong. The reason for this thread is to talk about a single aspect of the relationship.
      At the end of the day, if they're able enjoy it and explore it and work it out between them, then that is a beautiful thing.
      People are always going to tell you not to do something, but if it works for the both of you then I say "you go girl!"
      if it works for the both of you then I say "you go girl!"

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    5. She actually just said he is a cuck.... so he is into it just as much as she is , if not more. I think that makes it okay to continue this

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    6. agreed. if cuck, fuck fuck fuck:)

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    7. read through whole thread. i suggest take something for your self as he will enjoy
      dont tell him before but take something you want(person)
      do not make it the person you he is sensitive about. dont make it person new
      take someone you have had already and tell him after
      cuck him - he will love it
      he just sounds hesitant but in need of pushing
      so do it! try it. unless he would leave. but sounds like he would not and he wants it. and so does you

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    8. gurl - he is a cuck. clearly he wants you to take things for your self. so do it! take the opportunity and take something you want. BOTH of you want the same thing. so why not do it. every girls dream....

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  17. When one person is doing all the exploring, that's a pretty good indicator that there's more than meets the eye here.

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  18. OP, what are your thoughts?

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    1. 16.c here. 16.d: That is fair. I did preface my earlier comments with the statement that I don't know either of them, and am just giving my impression (and let's just say I'm more qualified than the average person to pick up on things here, so it comes from a trained mind). Then the revelation of the bf's complex history came out, and that opens up a can of worms, and I was curious if OP had explored the possibility that there was some liberty-taking going on--perhaps inadvertently--even if bf would deny it. But she has responded to that, and I see no reason for me to press the point further. I have no ethical problem with polyamory or open relationships, so long as there is true mutual consent. Cuckolding is legit, but very rare. And there are many instances when histories of abuse, self-esteem issues, etc. lead one to take on that role and even profess to enjoy it, while the other partner uses it as a hall pass that they feel is being given, when in fact they're writing that pass for themselves. Not saying that's the case here, but it would be prudent, given what I've read, to raise the point. I'll now turn this thread back over to exploring and gratifying OP's desires, indulgences, and fantasies.

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    2. I can agree.
      I would say it all depends on the mindset of the two people. As long as they both think it is fair and equal then why not right?
      Nothing is ever perfect and I am sure their situation is not. BUT if they are willing to work togeather for mutual satisfaction then that is a huge positive. It shows trust, communication, loyalty, and the ability to give each other what both want. Selflessness.

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    3. 18.b: That's the problem. Inherently with this kind of arrangement, it's very difficult to determine whether both people truly think it's fair and equal, even if they're both saying it is. There's pressure and coercion, even if it's implicit and not explicit, and that's exponential if there's a history of this on one side. Thus, the trust, communication, loyalty, etc. may only be an illusion. Selflessness used as a crutch to be selfish. There are very, very, very few cases where only one person is enjoying sexual freedom and both people are truly OK with it. When both ends of the relationship are open it's more likely to work

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  19. Having read this whole thread I can kind of start to see how a relationship would work like this. At the same time, if this kind of thing was raised I would DEFINITELY want equal opportunity to fuck around. The inevitable fallout there is that she could get laid way easier, I start to feel the imbalance, and by the time I ask for it to stop the relationship is in a way worse place than it was when we started. That's just what I think for my own relationship of course.

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    1. That is a fair and reasonable point.
      I believe that in some cases one of the two parties do not want to have that opportunity, as they gain more from the significant other experiencing it.
      I believe it is the mindset of each couple that determines the outcome of the situation. If both BF and GF want to be open, then that is a different situation. I believe the OP's BF wants her to be with others and share it with him, rather than BF having others as well?
      Regardless of the dynamic(fully open or open on single side), it seems as though the effects can be quite positive on the health of a relationship. As long as both parties are mature enough and open enough to make it work. Neither party can be completely selfish as they must work as one to make sure both are comfortable and okay with everything that is going on.

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  20. All in all it appears that the verdict is take something you want. Tell BF after. Not anything off limits nor new. Take an old FB and enjoy yourself! Both BF and yourself will love it.

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    1. What are OP's thoughts?

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    2. Safe, fun, and reliable. Definitely the route I'll go

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    3. Always a good option! Sounds like fun.

      Delete
  21. Oh man this really blew up, I'm really happy to see everyone discussing this! It's great to see everyone's opinions.

    I won't be able to address all the points brought up above, I've been a bit busy and seem to have missed a lot. But one point I see brought up a lot is the question of whether my "selflessness" is really masked "selfishness" and if BF really feels as though things are equal and mutually beneficial on all fronts. You are all certainly entitled to your opinions and you only see what you see, so I completely understand. I can only really present my side of the story as I have and state that in reality it was him who invited this experiment and really, really does love it. He has no interest in being with other women, which i have offered multiple times and encourage him to speak up if he ever does desire that. I'd have no problem giving him that either. As a side, we do occasionally involve other girls which we both find really fun!

    I can invite BF to comment and ask him to include a bit of his side if that would interest you guys. I know he's read a bit of this. Thoughts?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That would be interesting to have BF comment on this as well. It would be interesting to see his side.
      Does OP plan on taking something for herself as discussed earlier? Does OP plan to push BF? Does OP plan to fuck old FB?
      It is great to see that OP is understanding of both point-of-views.

      Delete
    2. OP, what is your dream situation. If you could have it your way, how would it be? Or is it your dream situation?
      I spoke to my GF about this and her genuine thoughts about it. She said she would be up for it(which I personally could not emotionally handle), but played it off cool. I could tell she liked the idea way more then she was telling me. She says you're "one hell of a lucky girl"

      Delete
    3. 21.b here - my question is how is he able to emotionally handle the stress? When I even think about it(and the look of excitement in my GF's eyes), my stomach turns and I feel sick.

      Delete
    4. Cool, I'll ask him to put his two-cents in!

      I do plan on taking something, I'll definitely pursue someone from the past -- easy, reliable, and safe. Haha, yes to cuckholding, but my version of it is pretty soft compared to how far some people go. I don't really attack his self-esteem, we spent too much time building it up! I'll definitely push him though, that's always fun.


      My ideal? Realistically, it would be pretty well the same thing we do now, except ideally it wouldn't be so hard to find good FB's! Although I prefer more dominant personalities, there is a reason we don't pursue those. The rules we have that might make it slightly less "ideal" are the things that make it work! Though ideally, I could have that one guy without it being a problem ;)

      That's cool that you asked her. It definitely wouldn't work for everyone. But if you guys are interested in sort of exploring that, just involving another person (i.e. party of three) can be a lot of fun. Haha! Of course she likes the idea! On that point, believe it or not, I actually hated the idea in the beginning which BF found weird, he thought it was every girl's dream.

      I am lucky, but not just because I can be with other people and he can't, I'm lucky because he trusts me that much and we can have fun with it.

      Delete
    5. 21.c, good question. In terms of stress, the idea of sharing me turns him on. The stress floods him right before I see someone, but that turns him on too, haha. He would explain that waaaaay better than me so I'll get him to address that, but to summarize it, he's simply turned on by it.

      OP

      Delete
    6. Is the person that you are going to take for yourself, the individual that is challenging for him to handle? Or are you going to go with a more stable FB?
      Good for you OP! I would love if you could tell us how it turns out! A good step in a fun direction.
      It is all about having fun at the end of the day. It sounds as though you have a great relationship. You are lucky to have him and he to have you.

      Delete
    7. God no, I wouldn't do that to him. That guys a fantasy haha. Definitely going with more stable, he'll love it. I'll pick one of his faves.

      Awe, thank you, that's very sweet!

      Delete
  22. That person is just for talk now?
    We look forward to hearing the results! :D very exciting OP

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When does OP plan on taking what she wants?
      When was the last time OP had sex with someone else?
      How many people has OP been with while in this relationship?

      Delete
    2. He will probably always be talk. I actually asked BF about this last night because this thread got me wondering what about him exactly BF is so closed off to. He said it is because he doesn't see this BF giving me to FB. Instead this FB sees it as taking me from BF. It's a control issue. Interesting!

      22.a, when is a good question. I have to work it out with the FB in terms of timing. He's currently not in Waterloo so it'll take some arranging. ASAP is rhe goal though! The last time.... probably 3 weeks ago. And with this I have been with 8 other guys (not including BF) I believe. I may be forgetting one or two.

      Delete
  23. Interesting. BF finds this very enjoyable to talk about but cannot be comfortable enough to give? Maybe if OP keeps talking to BF about it, BF will feel more comfortable? Compromise seems reasonable.
    How often does OP get BF off to these mutual desires? How often does OP get off to these mutual desires? (Would ask how often BF gets off but not sure OP knows)
    Not a crazy amount. Is OP quite particular with choosing FB's?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Does OP enjoy BF being cuck?

      Delete
    2. Yes just for the one guy, he's happy to give near anyone else though. It's been almost a yar since this guy so I doubt it'll change but who knows! If anything it would be me taking more of what I want that might actually make him more comfortable, I.e. pushing his boundaries more and showing him how good it can be? I'm tentative to push too muh though obviously because it's a very very fine balance.

      A couple times a week, just talking about desires and whatnot! I get off less often than he does because the action is more appealing to me, whereas he likes to recap old hookups. Though I do enjoy sharing desires of course. BF gets off a lot haha.

      Yes I am pretty particular. Mostly about personality but I do like a certain look too. Also particular about size.

      Do I enjoy him being a cuck... I do because he enjoys it so much & because i get to expore a more dominant and controlling sife of myself. And we get a good balance because with this I enjoy being more dominant so to say. But when it comes to sex between the two of us, he's always the super dominant one. It's like he completely flicks a switch. We definitely cater to each others likes and desires!

      Him being a cuck has actually improved other areas of both our lives haha! I have learned to take what I wat and be way less of a push over in other contexts. He has learned compromise and listening to other people.

      Delete
    3. Don't be hesitant. It seems as though if you can push him much harder than you feel you can. As is usually the case in these relationships. It seems as though BF is only sensitive about this one person and selection process, meaning don't push those yet. Maybe pretend you fucked that guy? Or just push elsewhere. Try pushing harder than you think. BF seems logical enough to understand you were doing it for yourself and BF.
      Sounds like BF is very lucky, but do consider that getting off and FB have different weights. As long as it is balanced, it is incredibly positive. You seem very perceptive to BF's wants and needs as he does to yours

      Delete
    4. Have you considered chastity for him?
      My gf says I need to sit down with your bf and he needs to teach me how to do it.
      She just sent me this thread with a message that says "I want this. Go learn to be like him. Have a drink with him." Seems as though she is not the first gf to want this...

      Delete
    5. Oh yeah, I've experimented with how far I could go comfortably "cuckolding" him, that's one of the things I've done. It's a little bit funny having this big strong guy turn into an obedient little begging thing, haha.

      Well you're welcome to sit down with him, if there's any way to coordinate that. But I think there has to be an desire within yourself to do it. Don't do it just because your girlfriend wants to fuck other guys, there HAS to be a balance. You're welcome to share her with us though lol!!

      Definitely not the first to want it, because it's sexy. But to make it work is hard, it tests your relationship, your communication skills, your intuitiveness, and your ability to negotiate and compromise. He'd be a good person to talk to. There have been a lot of times where both of us have pissed each other off, but that's how you find a balance. It's also about being able to forgive, because you have to make mistakes in order to figure out where the lines are.

      Delete
    6. How far have you found that you can cuck him? So far that is... And what do you think the next step would be?

      That is interesting that you are able to bring him to almost nothing. That is the case in very few cuck relationships. Most of the time the personality of the cuck is very passive in the outside world.
      What has been the most challenging component of the journey thus far?

      Delete
    7. Holy shit 23, you're coming across as someone who's frothing at the mouth while touching themselves while reading this. You don't think the bf has compromised enough here? He's just supposed to give, give, give? If he's not comfortable with this one person out of 10, that should be it. He shouldn't be pushed. Geez.

      Delete
    8. Hmm, that's somewhat hard to quantify. But, I have found I can certainly make him do pretty well what ever I want him to. It took me a long, long time to be able to sort of... put him down. I use that lightly, but you learn that it's simply for his pleasure and you get used to it. Next step would be doing something on my own, not telling him until after kind of deal.

      Yeah, I know right. He's a very, very different person when not engaged in that.

      Crap, that's a hard question. A lot of it has been hard, but a lot of it has been rewarding. I think the most challenging part for me was understanding that we could both make mistakes and it wasn't the end of the world. Realizing it would be a trial-and-error type of thing. Many times I wanted to stop because I felt like I wasn't doing it right or I had fucked up, but we both has to realize we'd have to fuck up in order to figure out where to draw the lines.

      23.g: Haha! I can see some people are enjoying this, which is awesome! Clearly I enjoy pleasing others ;P But I agree, I can't push that one guy anywhere else. I am always happy to talk about it with him, but I respect his decision that he just can't do it. Because god forbid I do it on my own or he let me do it and it really hurts him.

      Delete
    9. Are you excited to see his reaction to you taking something you wanted? How do you think he will react? What is the moment in the future that you most look forward to?(like a goal or a certain event)
      It is good that he is so different. It is a clear sign of comfort with you. It is "his demons" which only come out around yourself I assume. Something that an individual would never allow to be visible.
      That is good that you see that mistakes have to be made. As long as you both are understanding and forgiving about them, then you are able to work through anything. It is a sign of a great relationship.
      How can we not;) I just wish I could hear some of the stories you tell and some of the experiences you have had.
      It is so good that you are able to talk about that one person and enjoy that fantasy.

      Delete
    10. Yeah, I am! A little nervous to actually do it but also excited. Haha, well let's just say he likely won't be able to contain himself. I don't think he believes I'll actually do it because I'm very cautious about hurting him. But it'll be a very nice surprise ;)

      Yes, that's why I love him. He's very different, and shows me his whole self. I've never been able to be so open with someone. It means a lot that he bears his soul to me, so to say.

      I do have some great stories, it's been an adventure.

      Delete
    11. Is the guy good? Why is he his favorite?
      Nervous is natural, but the benifits will be clear after it happens the first time. I am betting that he will experience no pleasure like it!
      That is very sweet. Do you see yourself with him for a while?
      Any teasers?;) love to have you share!

      Delete
    12. Yeah he's good, he's just what I like to call a "puppy", which BF likes. He also happens to be big.

      Yes me too! He'll love it.

      Oh yeah haha, I will marry him. We're stuck with each other.

      Teasers, hmm hmm hmm... Well I remember the first one was pretty exciting. After saying no a million times, I gave in and kind of humoured the idea. So I went on tinder and basically just picked someone up, I told BF that no one would agree to it (I'd never done something like that, didn't realize how easy it was) and the first guy said yes. BF was like LET'S GO. I reluctantly got in the car and he drove me there, I was so freaked out I had no idea what I was doing. Basically walked up to the guys door, he opened it I walked in, walked to him room and got on my knees hahaha. Don't think I said a single word, it was super hot. Definitely felt like I was using someone for my own pleasure, as was he, haha. BF was mind-blown, so excited after. Wanted every detail couldn't believe I did it. I'll leave out the details, haha.

      Delete
    13. What do you consider big? How big is FB?
      Assuming stuck is "willingly stuck"?
      That is like a story you would find online and would never believe was true! That sounds amazing OP. I believe you! Was the guy good?

      Delete
    14. Big is 8+. He's 8.

      Oh yes hahah, very willingly.

      Haha, well it was exciting,first time. Mostly because it was very unlike me. He was alright, certainly not the best but a good first.

      Delete
    15. That is pretty big wow. That sounds as though it would feel quite good.
      At least it was a good start! It sounds like a blast. Wow.

      Delete
  24. Has BF ever watched?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No he hasn't! But he'd love to.

      One guy I have on the back burner is willing to let that happen, but his schedule is so nuts it's been hard to coordinate.

      Eventually though, he'd really like that. I think ti would be fun to try too!

      Delete
    2. Does OP plan on this happening? Does BF want this more than OP?

      Delete
  25. OP. I went through something similar. Been dating now or 5 years. First 2 years, no sign of anything of the sorts. Finally admitted to me he had this fantasy. I said no for a year and he kept getting more and more open about it and wanting it more often. Finally, I gave it a shot and really enjoyed it. Next 6 months were hard trying to find right balance and communication methods. Finally started working well and we explored it for a year. Over that year we became closer than ever and truly started understanding each other. Over time he got more chill about it and it got more and more fun. We eventually called it quits as we both had got what we wanted out of it.
    It has been a year now and we have never been better. Was fun while it lasted. Don’t regret it as it did wonders for us. Seems like we both just needed to try it out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's really, really awesome. I always love hearing stuff from another individual in my position. I'm really happy it worked out for you guys, it's definitely not easy. And good for you for giving it a try! It's a huge thing that he was able to be open about that desire because it is really controversial, it tests societies views of a man's sexuality.

      We defnitely won't do this forever, it's kind of a "while we're young and can still do this" kind of thing. It's fun and exciting, and we are learning so much.

      Thanks for sharing that :)

      OP xx

      Delete
    2. That was my mind set as well! In all honesty, it just came to a natural conclusion and we were both ready to move past it. I believe that it was incredibly positive experience. It was harder than anything I had experienced before at times but at the end of the day we got through it together.

      Delete
    3. What was your best experience with cucking your BF? Or best FB?

      Delete
    4. I think it was a guy who we will call E. Very dominant and super open minded. Could go for hours.... He fucked me first in the beginning of the year and the boy could not handle it. Later revisited him and got things going. Saw him like 3 times a week for two months. Best sex I have ever had... 10 inches, thicker than you would think would fit. boy did not know i was fucking him the first few times. so empowering. figured after all the shit i went through for him, i deserved something for myself. never told him about the first few times. figured it was just for fun. I knew there was no harm in it as i could not feel emotion for any guy other than boy. (my rationalization of why it was not cheating/okay)

      Delete
    5. Never came as many times as I did in those handful of times. Only did it because i am going to spend the rest of my life with him and i at least wanted to experience that amazingness a few more times before i didnt have the option anymore

      Delete
    6. I can see and make sense of that. The sexual orientation of the relationship has been stated as open. The purpose and point of it is for the individual to experience what they want and be able to derive pleasure from it. Valuing emotion is what the relationship is about. If you know that you are emotionally locked in with BF and BF is hesitant or wrongly worried about one individual, that should not hold you back from experiencing him. It poses very little risk to relationship because it is purely sexual which is what your relationship allows you to experience in others. BF doesn't benefit from it, but if you compensate in other ways by giving more and taking that than not telling him may be semi ethical and beneficial.

      Delete
    7. If at the end of the day, the outcome will be the same and you will be together forever. Then it is worth doing it as it is something you don't want to die without experiencing. Just make it up to BF in other manners

      Delete
    8. Fuck eh.

      Well that's all the convincing I need LOL

      OP

      Delete
    9. LOL. For real OP? You are going to do it?

      Delete
    10. Take something you want but not to much. You get there in time OP. As you said before

      Delete
    11. cheating is cheating. hope the same thing happens to you.

      Delete
    12. Are you out of your fucking mind?
      You agree to a relationship that is even on both sides and then take something ONLY for yourself?
      I hope your BF finds out. He deserves better.

      Delete
    13. Haha, no unfortunately. I wish. But he is different, ironically our "E" too. It would honestly hurt him, it would be cheating in his mind.

      I wouldn't go that far, just fantasize about it. But it's wicked that it worked out for you, seriously. Awesome story! Supppper hot.

      OP

      Delete
    14. How is he different?

      Delete
    15. OP almost went to the dark side.

      Delete
    16. OP why did you say yes then no?
      As well, how is he different?

      Delete
    17. That is why he can never find out;)
      You have to do it for you without his knowledge. That is the only way you can take something that big for yourself. (even if you tell him after and comfort him/make it worth his while for the 1 time thing)
      It is that or offer him something in exchange? like watching with your "E"

      Delete
    18. 25.f You're so fucking delusional and biased with that response it's bewildering. The degree of rationalization is monumental. It's Trump-like.

      Delete
    19. Yea OP. Just let BF watch E fuck you? Win win

      Delete
    20. Don't cheat. You will regret it the rest of your life. Find a way to make it worth it for BF. Compromise. You will regret not fucking E. But you will regret cheating much more. Find way to have it and not cheat. Negotiate with BF. Find middle ground. Worth.

      Delete
    21. Agreed with 25.t and 25.r this is not a binary situation. Find a middle offer it and talk it through no pressure or bullying BF into it. Bing bing bing
      you get e guilt free

      Delete
    22. How was this not an option from the beginning? OP, why don't you just find something to make it worth while for BF? As stated above, allowing BF to watch would allow him comfort in the situation. It would force FB to acknowledge relationship and respect it. Show BF that he has complete control of the situation and show BF that if he says stop you stop without hesitation or complaint. If BF feels this way and in control he won't actually use it. But knowing that he does have control allows him to be comfortable in the situation. Maybe E doesn't care about the relationship, but you showing BF that you are willing to make it work and showing BF that you will force E to respect relationship allows BF to be comfortable?

      Delete
    23. I guess I missed the part where she said she didn't tell him. That's probably where we differ, I don't see a point in not telling him, it defeats the purpose of our system. I enjoy his reaction. But it worked for her so don't judge ladies & gents.

      As for me, I was kidding aha, it certainly sounds hot I won't deny that. But that's a fantasy of mine, nothing I'd ever act on, I'd always share it with him. Hence why we call it sharing.

      My E is a threat to BF, he doesn't respect the system which ruins it for BF. I get it, it's about an equilibrium and E throws it off.

      As for watching, E stated he wouldn't be down for that when I asked so unfortunately it's out of the question. I wish he could watch! Literally the ideal, that would be amazing.

      Haha, everyone is getting really fired up, love it. And no, I'd never cheat on him, I respect him and love him and I get nothing out of that. That's why i have a tough time even doing something without his full permission and knowledge of every detail, since he shares me I return that with complete, 100% openness.

      BF will definitely watch with someone else. I just need an E who respects the system, any takers? ;) Finding him was a fluke, literally just joking around on Tinder. I don't know how to find someone comparable at this point.

      I can definitely revisit the idea with E, I'd have to have a long talk with BF about that first to establish if it's even worth it or if that would be tough for him to.

      P.s. BF really enjoy 25.r's comment!

      Delete
    24. Push it with E? E wants the P. P is very valuable. Use P to bargain for his D
      E needs to put D in P
      Just because he says no doesn't mean he is not willing to!

      Delete
    25. Could definitely do that, the P is super valuable. It's a great negotiator

      OP

      Delete
    26. Do it. Let us know if he is able to be convinced!

      Delete
    27. Of course, I'll keep you all updated.

      OP

      Delete
    28. A step in the right direction OP. You will be surprised of how willing he would be to do it

      Delete
    29. 23g/25r here: If I were in Waterloo still, I'd consider taking you up on your ultimate fantasy. And I'm not at all involved in this scene. Approach others in a sheltered place like Tinder or OKC, you might be surprised.

      Delete
    30. How big is 25.ac down below?:o
      OP, how did it go?
      Did you manage to convince E?
      Did you speak to BF about this? What is his point of view?

      Delete
  26. What is that one moment you look forward to the most? Or even or whatever it may be?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Taking something for myself. Maybe waiting a few days to tell him, or let him find out with the... "evidence" haha. His reaction, always.

      Delete
  27. Interesting. What is so desirable about taking something for yourself?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Because it is out of character and been a big struggle in this. No matter how much he tries to push me to do it, I am always super hesitant about hurting him. I know he'd really enjoy it if I did though, but something in the back of my head stops me.

      OP

      Delete
    2. It is desirable because it is something you have not done? Or because it is "bad" and "wrong", making it much more desirable?

      Delete
    3. Both, I grew up the "good girl" so it is an enticing thing.

      Delete
    4. Interesting. How does BF feel about this? Has this lead to desires of cheating? Has OP come close to cheating or has it always been no question?

      Delete
    5. BF loves that, he's always pushed that side of me because I'm such a "good girl". It's about knowing where the line between fantasy and reality is though. I'd fantasize about cheating and then kind of rubbing it in his face, though I'd never do it. Sharing that thought with him though gets him all excited though, haha.

      I've never come close to cheating, it's always been a no. I always joke that if E knocked on my door I wouldn't be able to say no, but I would haha with zero hesitation.

      Delete
  28. OP where is BF input

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I asked BF to answer the following questions from his perspective:
      What you enjoy most about it, how the balance works, do you feel it is equal, what is the biggest challenge in your opinion, and why do you want it?

      His answer:
      "what I enjoy best - uhm hearing about your pleasure and experiences. Although it may not be as great as seeing it in person, it's the best way I can experience it. The more you enjoy it, the sexier and more enjoyable it is for me. Pictures are also hot as fuck, and obviously hearing desires and things that you want.
      The biggest challenge is communication and not over-reacting on both of our parts when mistakes happen. We both may have reason to "react" in a negative way, but when we are able to control that and talk it through (i.e. why is it upsetting, what didn't work here, why am I angry) things actually work out quite well. Also, my personal challenge is controlling my emotions and reactions. Channeling the stress into something positive. I know it brings me pleasure, but some part of me is like "whoa, you're giving her away", and that can be really freaky. I have to remind myself that I love it sometimes, haha. That part might be a bit confusing.
      Is it equal: Most of the time, yes. But I think the balance is very easily tilted one way or the other, and I think sometimes it is leaning to you and sometimes to me and sometimes in the middle. But at the end of the day if you average it out I would say our current situation is equal. With that being said, I wouldn't say this moment right now is equal, obviously, because we have no one at the moment so we can only talk about it, which I enjoy much more. But most importantly, at the end of the day it's equal, we have found a way to even it out and make sure we both are able to have something even if it teeters a bit.
      Why I want it: it is as simple as it's fun and I really enjoy it. Even if it doesn't happen and we are just talking about it, it allows me to feel pleasure. It is a very odd sensation. Honestly, it is not the easiest thing to express or state why I like it but it feels as though.... your body goes into over drive. The moment before jumping out of a plane.... that is the feeling. "What the fuck am I about to do?" Then realizing how powerful and amazing the experience is about to be."

      OP

      Delete
    2. He would like to further explain the balance and how it teeters:

      "Let me explain with example-
      The concept of cash for life lottery: 1000 dollars a week for life is what you win. Now, when you win that, they give you 2 options. First is to literally get that amount each week for life. I am that in our situation. My pay off is over a longer period of time. The second option is to get a lump sum right now , say a million dollars or something. That is her (GF). Having sex with someone else lasts an hour or however long for her and is a "large pot" or "lump sum" of pleasure. So it is really big value right now, but once it is over it is over. With me, I get my pleasure over time and in smaller lumps. I don't get it all right now, that moment after sure maybe I get half a million up front and then 500 every week or something. But my pleasure is over a longer period of time than hers, so the value for me is long term and hers is more short term. At the end of the day it is equal and I see it as equal, just equal in different ways. I keep talking and wanting information (sexting) after she has had sex with them, and although she currently isn't fucking _____, I am still benefiting from the time she did. Lump sum is equal to sex; weekly pay is equal to sexting.

      That might be a bit easier to understand for those who don't see how I can share her and really benefit in any way, or equally in the least.

      Cheers!"

      OP

      Delete
    3. How can BF make it so he is able to get "lump sum" as well, rather than receiving it over a long period of time?
      Is BF interested in a dynamic like this?
      What other desires does OP have? Other than cuck stuff? What does OP want to experience sexually with BF in the future?
      What desires does BF have in regards to cuck stuff?

      Delete
    4. BF:

      Watching would be lump sum because it is me experiencing it as well rather than just hearing about it. Watching is one of my desires as well. A few more FBs and for her as well as for her to take something for herself.

      OP's desires, I have other things I'm into apart from this, but on this primarily exploring my own rebelliousness or control.

      OP

      Delete
    5. How far do you think your own rebelliousness goes OP?

      Delete
  29. Korean BBQ tonight, we could have a thread party


    OP

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. WHICH ONE OP?!
      COLOUR OF SHIRT?!

      Delete
  30. Love the dedication xo

    OP

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I bet that is a lovely colour on you OP.....

      Delete
  31. How often do OP and BF fuck?
    OP let us know if you need help convincing E

    ReplyDelete
  32. I think OP was serious and not joking but BF saw post?
    Regardless. I say watching is best idea. Although it may be a challenge to convince, it pays off in end. Don't have to feel like you regret not taking E. Don't have to feel like you regret cheating on BF.
    One would be surprised how convincing V can be!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can agree with the concept that life is short and do it before you are dead. 100% agree. Otherwise it is something you will feel as though you missed out on. But you have also agreed to have a relationship with BF and be loyal to BF. That agreement is much more value-able. What is so wrong with including BF and doing it with BF?
      Sure maybe guy does not want to have BF watch, but OP should stick up for BF and express how that is not okay and it is clearly not okay.
      BF should not feel bad about not being comfortable. Just as OP should not feel bad about something she is uncomfortable with. Find way to make it comfortable, even if OP has to go out of her way to do so, because BF will have to go out of his way to give E. Both OP and BF need to work some way out. OP would be surprised how much BF is willing to give under right conditions.

      Delete
    2. OP, what is BF opinion on this?

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    3. Haha, no I wasn't kidding. We read this thread together haha so I a not worried about him seeing it.

      E said no again, so it's out of the question still. He is turned off by the idea of another guy being present and won't budge.

      I get the "you only live once" concept, but I don't see this as something I'd regret for the rest of my life if I didn't do. I guarantee I can find the perfect E, it just takes time. It is not at all worth jeopardizing my relationship for.

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    4. When you say you were not kidding you are referring to when you said you were going to take E?
      That is a fair point OP

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    5. Kidding when I said I would take him, my apologies if I misread the original post

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  33. OP what did E say? Is this possible? What are OP's thoughts on what has been said?

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  34. Good Morning to all that have participated in this thread, especially you OP. My gf and I used to have a relationship that was quite similar to the one that has been stated above. I must say, it is very comforting to see that other couples do indulge themselves in sexual desires like this. I find that most couples that are into this have VERY similar stories and I want to share mine.
    My gf and I have been dating for many years and for one year of those many we dabbled(understatement) in cuckolding. My gf had never had sex with anyone else and I desired her to experience how good other men are before she was unable to have the opportunity (I am on the smaller side and have trouble lasting).

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    1. 34 Here
      Going into this was a very challenging experience as I found that I was more possessive and controlling that I had previously thought. This made things a little complicated and stressful for my gf. I will admit that I did have to force her a little to try it the first time as she was not as into it as myself. I regret this and realize that I had been unfair and expressed this to her at a later date and time. With that being said my gf knew how badly I wanted this and set her mind to giving me this experience regardless of how challenging it may be. She was committed and I cannot thank her enough for allowing me to have had the opportunity, as it would have consumed me otherwise. She would get me off via text multiple times a week to my strong desires (which became hers as well in time).
      Regardless… As perfect as this situation may sound, from my experience it is nowhere near as easy and I respect, whole heartedly that you have fought through the struggles and the emotions for each other and made it to this point. It is quite a feat, something that will only bring you closer and strengthen you more than you will ever imagine. Good for you both!
      I had wanted to make a point after reading this entire thread as everyone seems to be hung up on “E”. I do understand why everyone is as it is clearly quite the pinnacle of sex for yourself and you seem to struggle internally about it just as BF does. We did have an “E” who was disrespectful to our relationship but the BEST sex my gf had ever experienced. It was significantly better than any other she had been with and was exactly how she liked it in every way. His lack of disrespect amplified my control and possessiveness significantly. My gf understood and discontinued any contract with him, but I would talk about her experience with him all the time and became a little obsessed with it. It was something that I didn’t believe I could handle actually happening, but I for some reason needed to fantasize about it and hear about it all the time. What is in it for me is my gf’s pleasure and this is what made it so desirable for me to want it to happen again even though I knew I couldn’t emotionally handle it. I wanted nothing more than to give her him and have her feel that way again but not having to go through that emotional stress again. It sounds as though BF is in the same predicament as I was a while back and it is most likely eating him away on the inside not being able to give you the best.

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    2. 34 Here
      I spoke to my gf about how she felt and being so committed to giving me this experience she told me she would think of a solution that would fit both of our needs and even though it did take about a month to build up the courage and mental strength to be able to go through with this, it was well worth it. My gf had to go out of her to get me comfortable to the point where I was able to give her what she wanted. They met eleven times in two weeks and she told me that the month of work it took to get me to where I needed to be and giving me the opportunity to watch her feel that way was well worth the time and effort. At the end of the day, my point is that the entire cuck situation is a compromise and working together to be able to make it happen. “E” may be more of a challenging step but if you both put your heads together and commit to working towards that step it is possible and well worth it. I would advise that you approach him about this in a no-pressure kind of way and get him comfortable to the idea. Talk it out, he wants to give you that pleasure. You just need to realize that it is worth the month or two of work for the end result.
      After she experienced the best again, I found myself not as into the entire cuck fantasy. I had broken that wall and was able to start having a more normal sexual relationship. I stopped obsessing over this fantasy, I immediately was able to last significantly longer in bed and seemed to want to be more intimate, and our relationship became incredibly strong. The benefits are endless and the cons are very few. I hope this helps OP.
      No more talking about “E” until OP addresses what has been said please.

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    3. Interesting view of it. I agree, but I don't think that this situation is good for everyone?
      Maybe OP just thinks it is better not to do anything about it? Maybe to not even bring up the subject is better. Even though I think it is better, it may not be the case in the OP's situation.

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    4. Wow, that's incredible. This sound exactly the same as us. It also rose out of BF insecurities with his size, he also did not last long at all (as many cuck situations do). I had only been with 2 other guys (both long-term relationships).

      I like your perspective on E, but I had a chat about easing into it with him the other day and he nearly broke down. He said he can't handle him at all. And what I look for is the sense of closure you seem to have gotten, and in some manner I do feel like E is the gateway to that, but he is completely closed off to it. I'd honestly like you two to speak about it, maybe a perspective other than my own would be valuable.

      OP

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    5. Maybe approach it in a different way OP? A positive way that BF is not threatened or does not feel like he has to? I would guess that is the reasoning behind his break down?
      Maybe "let's work towards this goal, what do I need to do? If we get to the point where we are doing it and you get uncomfortable you can say no at any time and that is okay". Watching is also another way he would be able to cope maybe?
      It seems like it is the gateway to that.

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    6. Honestly, from my experience it us ALL about how you approach it and how much you put in it for him to be comfortable and emotionally okay.
      If my gf was not as good as she was about it I would have never been able to do it.
      The thing is as well, you cannot blame him for his uncomfortable state. I must say, it was the most challenging experience of my life allowing it to happen with him again. Even though I was watching it happen and in control it is still very hard but the benifits for the future are great.

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    7. Start small. Be overly positive and patient.
      Positive reinforcement. Show him that it is okay to mess up as long as you both keep trying. Show him that the experience will be pleasure for him as well. For me my gf let me watch each time and would talk about/get me off to him more and more. Allowing me to associate him with pleasure. She also used past FB's to gain comfort with me. Getting me comfortable with her being with another man.

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    8. Just read a previous post where you said BF would not budge. Show him and ask him to give it a shot trying to work into it and work on talking about it and being positive about it. Show him it is worth his while to give the process a shot and that if half way through or almost at the end he decides he cannot do it, you will not be mad, upset, disappointed or anything. Because at the end of the day you need to support the decision and understand that he is not ready or not able to do it. But trying to get there is worth it, even if unsuccessful

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    9. The closure will come with E. You just need to be willing to put in the effort and get to that point.
      If it is not worth it for you that is a different story. But i assure you it is so so so so worth it.

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    10. I have been really supportive, I honestly hadn't even brought E up with him in ages because I didn't want to push him like that.

      I could try approaching it more slowly, making it a goal to work towards, because I so, so look forward to that closure and I definitely know he does too. It feels like a loose thread and this experience that is so close and so desirable but not attainable.

      I really want this to end on a positive note so we both feel like we got the most out of it. I do constantly sext him about it though, it's definitely the number one thing he gets off to. But that can admittedly get a little frustrating for me because it's such a tease, you know? I get all worked up about it only for him to say "but you know it's never going to happen" after finishing. I do want it badly, but not badly enough to betray him. I don't want anything that badly.

      We have a long drive tonight though so I'll bring it up with him.

      What if he agrees to work toward it and at the end of it, still says it won't happen?

      OP

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    11. Then you say "you know what, I understand and that is okay. I love you regardless and even though it sucks that you can't it is okay. You gave it a shot and I know you want to. Thank you for trying and I cannot ask anything more of you."
      If he cannot and says so then he cannot. It is not his fault and you MUST understand that. He wants to give it to you very badly but it is an indescribable pain. It is not his fault and it is okay to say no. He needs to feel like it is okay to say no as well because if he doesnt he might not say no and it could cause huge damage. He should not feel bad for saying no. You need to see that he wants to and that it is not him trying to get at you or something. It is the most challenging thing he will ever go through(or was for me). Let him be their and watch or idk something of that sort. He needs to feel okay with being honest and saying no.

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    12. How did it go OP? Did you decide to do it with him?
      I think in the case that he were to say no it would still have profound benifits in regards to emotional stability with others as well. As well as lasting longer. How long does he currently last for?

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    13. Hey all. We discussed it and he seems willing to try it but the chances of him saying yes at the end of the day are around 10%. I think it requires a bit further discussion. But, on the bright side, I'm working in something with an old FB that I think coukd definitely get the ball rolling and get his confidence up. I think it would have huge benefits if we worked through it but I don't want him to walk into it close-minded.

      He lasts about 10 mins right now, it's been steadily increasing. But we have ways of making the whole thing last longer. I think someone above asked how often BF and I have sex, the answer is around 2-3 times a week. I'm at fault for the low number because I have a very busy schedule and am often tired when we finally get home!

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    14. OP when are you doing old FB? Working it in today?! WOO OP!
      OP is BF watching with E a possibility? I know from my personal experience that was a huge factor that made me way more comfortable!

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    15. OP, I think he is being conservative with 10%. I would imagine he would say that so if the case was that he couldn't do it he didn't disappoint you as much.
      See how things go with old FB and go with that. When are you planning old FB? You should tease and play with him that day and get him all riled up! That was it cannot go badly!:)

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  35. Jesus fucking Christ, how absolutely fucking disgusting of all of you.

    No wonder Western family structures are going down the shitter with hedonistic degeneracy like this becoming rampant.

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    1. I was waiting for one of these.

      It's really not necessary, since we are not making judgments on any type of relationship, really just looking for points of view.

      Thanks for sharing your point though, all opinions are valued.

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  36. How did it go OP?! We are all wondering!

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  37. OMG WHEN YOU SEEING FB OP

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    1. I second this question!
      We demand an answer OP

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