OMG UPDATE: Question? Answer.

Updated on Tuesday, April 14

#7116

QUESTION: The whole hugging thing is baffling. How do you know if a female friend is receptive to being hugged? If so, how long do you hold on for before it gets weird? What's the threshold, relative to the top of the ass, between 'hugging a friend' and being too amorous? How far around them do you reach, i.e, if you have ape-arms like me, do you wrap them round the whole way or is that too much? Do you let go immediately? I am also really tall, if the other person is short, is lifting them off their feet okay, or not? I assume keeping a few inches space below the belt line is 'proper'? Do you hug them in front of her girlfriends? Do you hug her in front of her boyfriend?
 

22 comments

  1. Only on omguw. Most people know this intuitively. I think hugging is not for you.

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  2. Female hugger here. My two cents: if you want to hug a friend, then open your arms as if to hug her, but let her decide to actually hug you first. If she hugs you, great! If not, then play it off as just being excited to see her. If she seems awkward or uncomfortable, then make it quick and light, just enough to basically touch her back and let go. If she likes it, then the best way (IMO) to determine length is to let go whenever she does, probably after just a second or so, maybe longer if you know each other well/habitually hug each other.

    Arm placement: typically, each person puts one arm over the other's shoulder, and one under. Since you're taller, this would make you to bend down to her level. It might be less awkward to just wrap both of your arms around her shoulders and have her wrap her arms around your chest. When you wrap your arms around her, keep your forearms more or less parallel to the ground. I typically aim my hands for the other person's shoulder blades. I've never entered a hug like this that lead to hands too close to either butt. You can use your whole arms, but maybe don't squeeze too tight if you haven't hugged her much before/if you aren't close friends. As for lifting her off the ground, I wouldn't recommend trying it the first time you hug a person, but you can give it a shot and pay attention to her reaction. Some people like the surprise, others don't. Adjust your strategy with her for next time accordingly.

    I say hug her whenever, regardless of who's around. Hugging a friend isn't something that should be weird to do in front of witnesses.

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  3. Female hugger here. My two cents: if you want to hug a friend, then open your arms as if to hug her, but let her decide to actually hug you first. If she hugs you, great! If not, then play it off as just being excited to see her. If she seems awkward or uncomfortable, then make it quick and light, just enough to basically touch her back and let go. If she likes it, then the best way (IMO) to determine length is to let go whenever she does, probably after just a second or so, maybe longer if you know each other well/habitually hug each other.

    Arm placement: typically, each person puts one arm over the other's shoulder, and one under. Since you're taller, this would make you to bend down to her level. It might be less awkward to just wrap both of your arms around her shoulders and have her wrap her arms around your chest. When you wrap your arms around her, keep your forearms more or less parallel to the ground. I typically aim my hands for the other person's shoulder blades. I've never entered a hug like this that lead to hands too close to either butt. You can use your whole arms, but maybe don't squeeze too tight if you haven't hugged her much before/if you aren't close friends. As for lifting her off the ground, I wouldn't recommend trying it the first time you hug a person, but you can give it a shot and pay attention to her reaction. Some people like the surprise, others don't. Adjust your strategy with her for next time accordingly.

    I say hug her whenever, regardless of who's around. Hugging a friend isn't something that should be weird to do in front of witnesses.

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  4. ^ what the fuck..

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  5. If you're a man, you never should have a reason to instigate a hug.

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  6. Hugs are appropriate for family or close female friends if you haven't seen them for upwards of 2 months.

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  7. Two words:

    FUCKING ASK. WOW. THAT WAS SO HARD.

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  8. Yes! Fuck I hate getting hugged. All. The. Fucking. Time. I think it's so women get a feel at my body though.

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  9. Depends on the friends, some people are huggers, some are not. Personally I love hugs and so do most of my friends. It's not a problem who you hug in front of, it's just a sign of friendship.
    I agree with 2 that if you're taller you can just hug around her shoulders and she can hug around your waist, and then maybe you won't be so stressed about where your hands are and if they're too low? Though I disagree about normal hugs having one arm under, one over. That is an awkward hug type in my opinion.
    Oh, and I'm female if that's relevant to the response.

    Happy hugging!

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  10. Hugging is baffling? When you decide to have sex, you may want to invest in a helmet and water wings...

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    Replies
    1. In light of your being such an expert I'll invite you along to coach me.

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    2. So, you like being watched?

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  11. You ever think sometimes people are over thinking things?

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  12. This guy has created a chart to help with greeting types
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dnT3hIBRgc

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  13. Men should never proactively other people. EVER.

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  14. yeah if you have to ask on an anonymous website instead of asking the person maybe don't hug anyone in your life

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  15. lolol autism alert

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  16. Two things you can do:

    1. Treat women like people
    2. Treat situations in a non-analytic fashion

    Just fucking hug people, jesus it isn't rocket science.

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    Replies
    1. "treat women like people" okay where in OP's question did they say they didn't treat women like people. or are you just a sexist?

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    2. " How do you know if a female friend is receptive to being hugged?"

      " What's the threshold, relative to the top of the ass, between 'hugging a friend' and being too amorous?"

      " I assume keeping a few inches space below the belt line is 'proper'?"

      " Do you hug her in front of her boyfriend?"

      Nowhere did OP say that they don't see women as people, but certainly acting like men and women are inherently different is part of OPs problem in reasoning what's 'appropriate' behaviour. If you have to ask whether or not it's appropriate to touch pelvises in a hug, it's a pretty good indicator that they think that what's attached to the pelvis is of particular importance. What's more, asking if it's appropriate to hug "in front of her boyfriend" is assuming that doing this may not be appropriate.

      Why wouldn't it be? Why not just treat her like you'd hug anyone else and just hug people when the intuition strikes it as acceptable in that circumstance?

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