OMG UPDATE: Question? Answer.

Updated on Tuesday, December 16

#6725

QUESTION: How can I rewire my brain to be attracted to less attractive people. Years of porn and perfect models have subconsciously made it so I only seek out people who are way out of my league.

I recognize on a conscious level that I have to play my field, but it's hard when you don't have that base physical attractiveness.

21 comments

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    1. I've gotta say, I'm surprised by the negative reaction to this post. I think this is a pretty common thing, just as some women unfortunately believe that magazine/photoshopped cover models are what they should aspire to be like (unrealistic), men expect to be like that.

      It is lose lose on both sides. I explicitly mentioned the subconscious and conscious sides of it to avoid any misunderstanding that I think, in any way shape or form, that attractiveness is the only factor to a healthy relationship with another individual - man or woman. I guess I didn't convey my point well enough.

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  2. why not start living in reality and stop being a weak brained retard who relies on unrealistic stimuli to get off?

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  3. sucks to be uglyyyyyyyyyyyy ha

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  4. Stop watching porn, or only watch amateur porn.

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  5. OP I think you ask an honest question.

    The issue isn't so much about what you find attractive/unattractive but that you view women primarily as a source of sexual gratification before anything else. You can't get it up for normal women because you aren't valuing them for more than their looks. It should be about changing your attitudes and beliefs, not just an attempt to expand your palate.

    Concrete advice:
    Stop fapping to those images. Seriously.
    Start fostering friendships with women that you admire as people. You may find with time your values about what you're attracted to and want in a partner will start to shift. Compatibility wins over chemistry for the longevity of a relationship.

    //

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    1. One way to help cut back the pron is to think about how many other guys she has been with that week. Pornstarts just bang out movies like nothing. hehe, bang. If you are not into sloppy seconds, this will turn you off, and either you will stop watching it, or only watch it for the penis in vagina, not their looks.

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    2. OP here, please read 1a, 5. I do not " view women primarily as a source of sexual gratification before anything else" (I'm not a freaking animal) and honestly I'm a bit offended by that.

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    3. I'm not sure you can "get it up" for anything but sexual attractiveness. You can definitely value those other traits but I'm not getting hard for generosity, kindness, or intelligence. They can even bolster/increase the sexual attractiveness of a person to a point. Its still the sexual attractiveness you're reacting to though.

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  6. Stop watching porn.

    You are probably addicted to the stuff and are experiencing the consequences of such. Your brain is looking for the wrong kind of stimulation.

    Reddit's /r/nofap is a good resource for getting through this situation.

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    1. Good advice, but I'm not really addicted. I probably was a couple months ago (fapped 4-5 times a day) but I recognized that and now it's only once a day or every other day which I think is pretty normal. Also, I only watch "normal" porn now.

      Thanks for the advice though.

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    2. I masturbate maybe 2x a month and that's being generous. There's definitely room for you to do it less.

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    3. @6b:

      >what are sex drives
      >everyone has an equal desire for sex

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    4. once / every other day is still way too much!

      if you drank/did drugs at that rate that's def addiction, same goes for porn

      it's definitely affecting you man..try to cut it way way down

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    5. 6d, please read this:

      http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-relationships/how-women-masturbate

      A fifth of men masturbate 4 times a week. Every other day is perfectly fine.

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    6. I jerk off or have sex two to three times a day. Nothing wrong with that. I have a lot of testosterone and feel the need to share.

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  7. From my experience, the problem you're facing is mostly due to the fact that you're meeting girls with this thing in mind. I personally believe that the best way to find a girlfriend is not to screen girls and ask yourself which is good enough looking to be your girlfriend, but instead, first meet them as friends first. Try not to screen them, and then as you get to know them better maybe you'll actually like them for who they are instead of the screening process that you had implemented in the first place. It's great to have an attractive girlfriend, but if that person is beautiful on the inside too, you're going to have lots and lots of problems. So my advice to you: Don't screen for potential girlfriends at the start, know them first and then you can decide. A lot of times, things will happen when you least expect it.

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  8. Join NO FAP. It works wonders OP.

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  9. I have no advice but I sympathize. Good luck, OP. And good question, I give it five stars. You do not deserve the flak you are receiving.

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  10. Better yourself mentally and physically so these women are not as intimidating as you think they may be. Personally I've dated a number of extremely beautiful and intelligent young women, they are people just like you and I.

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  11. Get ready to be lonely OP.

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