OMG UPDATE: Question? Answer.

Updated on Friday, December 12


QUESTION: What is the best way for an unattractive guy to get a date? Since it's been established that it is creepy to just ask someone if you are unattractive.

I am interested in a relationship not a one-night stand.


  1. Rule 0: You're more likely to succeed if it's someone you -somewhat know- rather than someone you don't know at all, or someone you've been friends with for a long time.

    1. Be funny.
    2. Mind the details- be attentive when they talk, laugh at their jokes, etc. etc.
    3. Spend a little bit of time with them in a group setting before asking them out- this give you a chance to play to your positive characteristics.
    4, Always listen and respond accordingly to promote interesting conversation.
    5. Don't come on to strong or overly friendly. It's about being present but not omnipresent - don't be texting, facebook chatting her (or him?) 24/7- this is how friends are made.
    6. Be realistic. Odds are if you're interested in someone primarily based on looks - and know little about them, they're probably assessing you based on looks too.

    I kind of rushed typing and I'm only sharing what has worked for me. Everyone is different though so some other posters may have better ideas.

  2. Conversation, conversation, conversation. You either have to know the person already or make an effort to get to know them before asking them out. Trying to get a stranger's number outright is creepy. Starting a conversation with a stranger about something genuine is not. But it starts with you deciding which person in your day-to-day life you actually want a relationship with. Also attraction is relative. Don't sell yourself short.

  3. Girl here. I've been attracted to a guy I didn't normally find physically appealing and it really did come down to conversations and exactly what 1 said about #5. My friends made fun of me, saying he was ugly, but he and I had some really deep conversations. Then I found out he had a gf haha. Either way he lived too far away.

  4. Play in your own field, i.e. don't get pissed at super attractive girls for being "shallow" if you're into them for their hotness. Find a girl you think is cute but who is less conventionally hot, like you are.

    Asking out of nowhere is coming on too strong. I hate when guys approach me randomly and immediately get into like, flirting or dating kind of talk. It's really uncomfortable. Instead just start a normal conversation about normal things.

    Try online, though I heard it isn't great for straight guys.

    Also you need to attempt to compensate for your natural not-so-hotness by being hygenic and dressing well. Really hot people can get away with looking slobby but everyone else will just look gross.

  5. Step one: Lose the goatee, it doesn't go with your suit
    step two: get a suit

  6. You need to act like an asshole to hot girls and knock them down a few knotches. show em whose boss and make them feel insecure. everytime u do this follow up with a compliment. consistently break and rebuild and re-break and rebuild their self esteem in a cycle, and eventually they will be vulnerable enough for u to make them yours because they'll feel a need for you to validate them because you'll have gotten in their head and they'll no longer be able to self-validate. that nice guy crap doesn't work and don't listen to any females that comment on here because they say one thing and do another, they're a bunch of liars and are probably insane

    1. You have given advice on how to be manipulative and emotionally/verbally abusive.

      Please visit a counsellor or therapist for help.

    2. @ 6.a, good point! A therapist would probably be great at getting into someone's head and making them feel insecure. It's basically their job. They'll have a ton of great advice.

  7. From a females point of view BE CONFIDENT, CONFIDENT IS SEXY AND CAN ATLEAST HELP U GET UR FOOT THROUGH THE DOOR. Just go for it and be straightforward about it and get a date to know her better or at least for her to get the chance to see u as an option instead of just a friend if u know her well. Just don't be creepy or obsessive. GOOD LUCK OG XDDD

  8. "Since it's been established that it is creepy to just ask someone if you are unattractive."

    Source pls.

    1. Have you ever left your basement?

    2. Looks matter. End of story.

      Here's your source 9.

      There's a decent meta analysis cited in the above article,
      [4] "Maxims or Myths of Beauty? A Meta-Analytic and Theoretical Review" that finds being better looking = more dating success.

      And is anyone else shocked this research was funded?

  9. Don't make "unattractive" one of your defining qualities. Your personality is far more important if what you want is a relationship as opposed to a one-night-stand. Find a specific girl that you can see yourself in a relationship with, and start a genuine conversation. Talk about interests, pastimes, family, food, media... whatever you would talk about with a friend. Do this for a couple weeks (2-3) and then express your interest on going out on a date, just for coffee or something simple. If this goes well, go on a more romantic date (skating, dinner and a movie, walk in the park, etc. Assuming this goes well, cook her a nice dinner at your place and start talking about more intimate things along with the fun stuff you've been doing. After this if all has gone accordingly, ask her to be your girlfriend. Voila!

  10. Thanks for the info guys/gals!