OMG UPDATE: Question? Answer.

Updated on Saturday, November 8

#6574

QUESTION: How has everyone dealt with their parents going through a divorce. My parents just told my brother and I that they are getting a divorce, (I'm 21, he's 23) and although we are older I feel depressed.

7 comments

  1. I think it differs between people. My parents got a divorce when I was near the end of grade school - old enough to understand what was going on and not old enough to be able to handle it emotionally. It was a dull blur then, but in retrospect it was a really traumatizing experience that left a lot of insecurity in me.

    I feel that at your age, it should be easier to take it in stride (mostly because you are far less reliant on your parents) – but if that's not possible for you, I suggest doing things to take your mind off of it. Start hanging out with your friends a lot more, dig deep into your hobbies or school, try new activities. The last thing you want to do is keep thinking about the divorce and feeling painful about the change. It's basically already happened, so just take as much time as you need to accept your new conditions in life and try to make the most out of it.

    Obviously, everything varies depending on the specifics of the divorce, your attachment to your parents, and your attachment to your family unit as a whole, but I would definitely suggest trying to get your mind off of it for starters. No good thinking about it for now, and it will keep you from feeling worse later on.

    And whatever you do, I hope things go well for you.

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  2. Please be supportive of your parents, especially if their marriage has not caused you any pain thus far. You're all adults now, so divorce really isn't a big deal as you're able to create your own meaningful bonds. You can still see your parents, just separately!

    My parents divorced when I was in high school, and the only thing I would've changed was that they did it sooner. I had a pretty turbulent family life when I was younger, so I was very supportive of the split. Appreciate the time you've all spent together, and mourn its passing as you would any relationship. In the same vein, if you're feeling down, then do things that you'd normally do after you get out of a long-term relationship: spend more time with your friends, focus on yourself, etc.

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  3. Sometimes I think my parents should get a divorce. In the end, they should do what makes them happier. Living with someone who you constantly argue with can be exhausting. It doesn't mean they don't care about each other, but maybe the spark is gone. It could be for the better.

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  4. It's better to have two parents who are divorced than to not have one of them (or both of them) at all. - kid of divorced parents

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  5. My parents got divorced when I was 19, but it should have been a lot earlier as I can't remember them ever being happy together. It doesn't necessarily get easier just because you are older. Unfortunately, they have an awful relationship and are not even on speaking terms. 3 years later, they are still dealing with lawyers and dividing possessions. My dad got engaged to someone else as soon as the divorce went through. It has been very difficult to deal with, but my sister and I have become each other's support systems now more than ever before. I hope that you and your brother can do the same. Try to maintain relationships with both your parents, though it may be hard, because you will be happy you did in the future. As 4 said above, you can still be thankful that you have 2 parents, whether they are together or not.

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  6. 5 again. Also, if you are feeling depressed, please seek help through counselling services. My parents' divorce contributed to my sister's depression, and they were too focused on the divorce and yelling at each other to notice. Please talk to someone, anyone.

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  7. Understand its your parents life, not yours. It has nothing to do with you personally, be supportive and move on. You will have break ups in your life as well, you shouldn't resent your parents for doing what's best for them.

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