OMG UPDATE: Question? Answer.

Updated on Monday, October 27

#6516

QUESTION: How do you deal with a guy who thinks he is in love with you but you dont have the same feelings for him back and youve told him that multiple times? He also told me at one point that he wasnt a virgin but then recently, he said he wanted to lose it to me so it would be special... please tell me someone else thinks that is creepy and it isnt just me

30 comments

  1. Cut him out of your life. If he keeps coming onto you, threaten a restraining order or something. Life is too short to put up with shit like that if he won't listen to you when you tell him you aren't interested. :/

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    1. If you want to be known as an utter bitch do what 1 says.

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    2. Yes, because women standing up for themselves automatically means they're "bitches."

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    3. Yes, because women who can't tell standing up for themselves compared to being an utter bitch are in fact bitches. Thx for playing.

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    4. @1b *tips le fedora*

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    5. @1c: Ok then. Big eye-roll.
      @1d: "Salutes"

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    6. 1, 1.b, 1.e sound like trolls. Bitchy trolls.

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  2. Just have a serious talk with the dude and cut him loose. You have to make it clear that its not gonna happen and shut the door completely. Its for the best in the long run

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  3. As a dude, that is some incredibly creepy and needy behaviour. Do what 2 said. As for 1, you can't get a restraining order on someone just because they're bothering you, no matter how creepy it is.

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  4. He can't keep being "in love" with you if you're not giving him any attention back. As long as you're still hanging out with him, you are leading him on.
    It doesn't matter that you've told him you're not interested because people only focus on elements that confirm their beliefs. He didn't even hear it, or he rationalized it to mean something else. You are still talking to him, and that shows him there is at least some interest.

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    1. She's NOT leading him on by hanging out with him. He needs to take no for answer. Just because you hang out with a guy (or girl) doesn't mean you owe them anything. He's displaying abusive behavior, plain and simple.

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    2. 5 is saying that in this guy's mind, any attention, even as little as simply acknowledging his existence, is some sort of signal to him because he's delusional. 5 wasn't blaming OP for her behaviour. And to call this abuse is a bit of a stretch. It's absolutely inappropriate, creepy, and downright disrespectful of OPs wishes to be left alone, but going on the little information provided by OP, it doesn't seem to be more than that.

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    3. I perhaps overreacted to 5's statement. There's just so much victim-blaming going on when it comes to this type of thing. Labeling it abuse might be a stretch, or it might not. Let's say it was a random stranger coming on to her like that? He's someone she knows, but most rape (as an example), is committed by someone close to the person.

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  5. Very creepy and abusive (he's not leaving you alone to the point that you seem scared). You don't owe him a damn thing. Cut him out of your life, and keep someone you absolutely trust up-to-date on what's going on (for protection).
    Also, you're not "leading him on" by hanging out with him. You've obviously told him more then once that you're not into him. He needs to learn how take no for an answer.

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  6. Wtf. That's teir 1 creep. On the other hand if the dude was attractive you'd bang him... So there's that.

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  7. You sound like an attention whore. I feel bad for the guy.

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    1. Lol, are you kidding bud? What in OPs post leads you to believe that she's an attention whore? It sounds far more like the dude in this situation is the one craving attention.

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    2. @8a: She's flaunting the fact that she's desirable over the internet.

      Stop and use your brain for a moment (it's hard, I know). Is this really even a problem? She could cut off contact with the guy and I bet he'll stop "bothering" her. If he doesn't, then she really should go to the police. However, I don't think your average male would be that delusional. He's only doing this because she's still talking to him.

      "please tell me someone else thinks that is creepy and it isnt[sic] just me"
      Yeah, as if anyone wouldn't find that creepy. She knows this and just wants validation.

      @9: Please learn how to use the reply function. And no, I'm not a troll. I just have no sympathy for people whining about their completely inane "problems".

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    3. you sound like a huge loser, I feel bad for you

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    4. Oh boy. Who let you off your meds. Did some mean womanz hurt your widdle loser feelings, and now you spray your filth all over the interwebz?

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    5. @8c, 8d: Why are you both assuming I'm male? You're acting like a typical SJW by not responding to my argument and instead resorting to childish ad hominem attacks.

      Thank you for your pity, 8c, but I assure you it's quite misplaced.

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  8. @8a don't even bother with this poster. Sounds like a troll.

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    1. I thought about leaving it alone but even when I know they're trolling I sometimes feel the need to give a rebuttal.

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    2. Also nice in case OP doesn't pick up on the fact that it's a troll.

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    3. True. I can't help myself too a lot of times. Carry on the good fight haha. :)

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  9. He only wants to lose his virginity to you and after that, he's done

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