OMG UPDATE: Question? Answer.

Updated on Saturday, August 9

#6178

QUESTION: Have you ever had problems with an overprotective significant other over how you love partying/drinking once in awhile, but after you got into a relationship, your s.o. doesn't let you go anymore? How did you deal with it especially if your s.o. doesn't really drink/club?

11 comments

  1. Talk it out and try to find out what their problem with it is while also communicating what your problem with it is. Try and reach a compromise on the situation. If that doesn't work and they're unwilling to compromise think about how much you value your social life compared to the other person, then make a decision about what to do moving forwards.

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  2. A difference in values like this is a valid reason to end a relationship. It will continue to create tension unless one of you changes said value.

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  3. I've never experienced this as my boyfriend and I both go out with our friends without each other (which is important in a relationship imo). I have had friends who were uncomfortable with their spouse going out to bars/parties without them, again I've never understood this. To me this seems more of an insecurity within the own person than anything else, probably best to talk it out. I see how it can be a difference in values, but I have a hard time believing your spouse would be okay with you going to bars with your friends even if you weren't drinking.

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  4. dump their ass. life is too short to deal with controlling people.

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  5. Why won't your s.o. let you party/drink? I don't get it

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  6. I was in a situation similar to this. My boyfriend didnt want me go drink or party without him because he didnt trust me. Why he didnt trust me, I'm unsure, as I never did anything to break his trust. I didn't go out with my friends because he didn't want me to, and I was miserable because my friends would get together and I'd always bail.
    I thought I understood his reasons and respected them, but looking back it was bullshit. Within reason, no one should be able to restrict you from anything. You are your own person, you do what you want!

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  7. A strong relationship is based on trust, respect, and honesty.
    Your partner should never have the power to forbid you from doing something, because that disrespects your autonomy within the relationship. I once dated a guy who I allowed to control my life. I lost all my friends as a result, and a huge part of myself.

    Now, years later, I am with a guy that respects me. We don't always agree, but he respects that I am entitled to my opinion and choices just as much as he is. If he had an issue with something I was doing (drinking or partying in your case), we would sit down and discuss it. I would try to understand his concerns and where he is coming from and he will try to understand why I enjoy that activity and why it is important to me. In the end, we reach an understanding that we both feel we can live with.

    If there is no discussion or consideration for the others feelings and needs, then there really is no relationship. And based on your choice of wording, it sounds like your boyfriend doesn't respect you or trust you.

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  8. S.O. is a bitch. Dump them, get a better one.
    Done.

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    Replies
    1. you're assuming that a guy posted this and the girl isn't letting him go?

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    2. @8a: "Bitch" is gender-neutral nowadays, and since he used "them" as the pronoun, I don't think he's assuming anything.

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  9. dump them and get someone more consistent with YOUR values. not "better"... there's nothing wrong with your SO except maybe that they are too controlling. but them not liking partying or whatever is not a bad thing. it just doesn't work with you. so find someone who does work with you, and furthermore, who will let you be your own person even if they have slightly different interests or whatever.

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