QUESTION: Anyone having advice for a female asking out a guy you like? I have never done it before and am nervous as I am not ugly, but definitely not "hot" by anyone's standards. HELP!
As I guy, I'd love it. As an individual who is not a jerk, I'll politely refuse (if I'm already taken, or am not interested in you) or gleefully accept.
Advice: Approach the guy. Talk to him if he's alone, ask if you can talk to him in private if he's with people. If you're too shy - drop a note - at the very least, I can guarantee a proper reply.
I'm an average looking person - not "hot" is perfectly ok by me. Obviously, people's standards/reactions differ.
Not OP, but I'm curious as well. I feel like it would be relatively easier to ask out someone you know, but what about a stranger? I'd be scared of coming across as too aggressive if I ask out a guy I just met.
1 here: Here's the problem: I'm not overly attractive, so if I ask someone out of the blue, there's a high chance I'll be labelled as a creep. On the other hand, if I was approached by a girl, I would think of it as a bold move, and would be more willing to reciprocate, even if for a single date.
girl here: i asked my boyfriend out with something along the lines of, "I really like you and I want to go out" and it worked out just fine! just be honest, keep things simple and don't worry about if you feel "hot" or not.
I was asked out by someone I met in first year when we randomly bumped into eachother in third year. She asked if I wanted to grab coffee together and at the end she said thanks for the date! It was great fun, casual and we got time to catch up alone which is hard to do at parties.
Go for it, it won't be creepy for the guy, he may be surprised but that is a good thing!
How hot is the guy? Not your opinion since you want in his pants, but based on objective opinions from other ppl. Many guys value looks too much, others less. Always nice to cover your bases from all angles I feel.
First of all, congrats on at least considering asking him out. Takes a lot of courage!
I'm a girl of average looks, but a really strong (and sometimes overwhelming/intimidating) personality. I've asked out 6 guys so far, with varying success. Asking out 2 relative strangers resulted in casual first dates and really good friendships; asking out 3 friends ended in relaxed coffee (where we both sort of decided not to proceed); and asking out a really good friend resulted in a surprisingly non-awkward turn down.
My methodology consists of this: put the ball in his court, and let him make a move afterwards. So, ask him if he wants to go for coffee/beer/a movie. This can be over facebook, text, or in person. Make it obvious that this is something that means slightly more than just hanging out to you.
If he says yes, YAY :D. Go on the date. Afterwards, if he's interested, let him take the initiative to follow up. I found that this is a good way to casually indicate interest, give him the space to be confident if he wants to, and prepares for an easy let down if he's not interested.
Good luck, OP, and remember: the worst thing he can say is no. In which case, you get more time to practice asking guys out ;)
I wish more girls would ask out guys. Seems like a one way street with signs in a foreign language. Just walk up to him, say "hey, I'm OP, want to go for a date?" You could have a piece of paper with your name and number on it if you want, don't expect us or remember your name the first time. If you can't walk up to him, but know his name, send a Facebook message, or maybe just hand him a not with your name and number. But don't expect an answer the same day, it might happen, but he might wait a couple days. This way you don't have to face rejection. Wait 3 days for a call or text, after that assume it was a no.
As I guy, I'd love it. As an individual who is not a jerk, I'll politely refuse (if I'm already taken, or am not interested in you) or gleefully accept.
ReplyDeleteAdvice: Approach the guy. Talk to him if he's alone, ask if you can talk to him in private if he's with people. If you're too shy - drop a note - at the very least, I can guarantee a proper reply.
I'm an average looking person - not "hot" is perfectly ok by me. Obviously, people's standards/reactions differ.
Not OP, but I'm curious as well. I feel like it would be relatively easier to ask out someone you know, but what about a stranger? I'd be scared of coming across as too aggressive if I ask out a guy I just met.
Delete1 here: Here's the problem: I'm not overly attractive, so if I ask someone out of the blue, there's a high chance I'll be labelled as a creep. On the other hand, if I was approached by a girl, I would think of it as a bold move, and would be more willing to reciprocate, even if for a single date.
DeleteBut that's just me.
1a, asking a stranger at the end of a conversation would likely be welcomed. Asking in lieu of a conversation would not.
DeleteJust ask him?
ReplyDeleteI've always been the one to initiate in relationships. Never had a guy ask me out. Looks are average.
girl here: i asked my boyfriend out with something along the lines of, "I really like you and I want to go out" and it worked out just fine!
ReplyDeletejust be honest, keep things simple and don't worry about if you feel "hot" or not.
I was asked out by someone I met in first year when we randomly bumped into eachother in third year. She asked if I wanted to grab coffee together and at the end she said thanks for the date! It was great fun, casual and we got time to catch up alone which is hard to do at parties.
ReplyDeleteGo for it, it won't be creepy for the guy, he may be surprised but that is a good thing!
Best of luck!
How hot is the guy? Not your opinion since you want in his pants, but based on objective opinions from other ppl. Many guys value looks too much, others less. Always nice to cover your bases from all angles I feel.
ReplyDeleteI would say he is well above average, but not ridiculously attractive
DeleteFirst of all, congrats on at least considering asking him out. Takes a lot of courage!
ReplyDeleteI'm a girl of average looks, but a really strong (and sometimes overwhelming/intimidating) personality. I've asked out 6 guys so far, with varying success. Asking out 2 relative strangers resulted in casual first dates and really good friendships; asking out 3 friends ended in relaxed coffee (where we both sort of decided not to proceed); and asking out a really good friend resulted in a surprisingly non-awkward turn down.
My methodology consists of this: put the ball in his court, and let him make a move afterwards. So, ask him if he wants to go for coffee/beer/a movie. This can be over facebook, text, or in person. Make it obvious that this is something that means slightly more than just hanging out to you.
If he says yes, YAY :D. Go on the date. Afterwards, if he's interested, let him take the initiative to follow up. I found that this is a good way to casually indicate interest, give him the space to be confident if he wants to, and prepares for an easy let down if he's not interested.
Good luck, OP, and remember: the worst thing he can say is no. In which case, you get more time to practice asking guys out ;)
I wish more girls would ask out guys. Seems like a one way street with signs in a foreign language. Just walk up to him, say "hey, I'm OP, want to go for a date?" You could have a piece of paper with your name and number on it if you want, don't expect us or remember your name the first time. If you can't walk up to him, but know his name, send a Facebook message, or maybe just hand him a not with your name and number. But don't expect an answer the same day, it might happen, but he might wait a couple days. This way you don't have to face rejection. Wait 3 days for a call or text, after that assume it was a no.
ReplyDeleteNike said it best - Just do it!
ReplyDeleteStep one don't be ugly
ReplyDeleteStep two profit