No, you are not. You are beautiful. You are loveable. You are enough. I don't know what experiences you've been through or what you have done but nothing can make you unloveable. <3
See anonymity makes it hard to believe. your blatant patronizing of him actually suggests that you think he is an idiot who doesn't know himself either.
So stop being a bitch and HELP him accept the fact that he may be ugly and unloveable... I GOT YOU 1
@1) Once you accept that you are currently ugly and unlovable, you can change that. Most people don't accept it and stay that way. I'm not unlovable and never have been but I used to be unattractive (not super ugly though) and I fixed it because it's really not that hard to not be ugly if you actually put in effort.
Although the unlovable thing may take more time than the ugly thing, it should also be fixable if you're willing to put in that time to improve yourself.
@1c. I was not patronizing him. I don't think that he or she is an idiot who doesn't know himself. Sometimes we are our worst critic and only focus on our flaws. Sure there are ugly parts inside each of us, but there's beauty as well. I've yet to find someone who isn't beautiful. I don't just mean physical attractiveness. When you're beautiful from the inside, it will radiate out. Whoever is going to spend the rest of his life with you will care more about the beauty within. I believe that each person has something beautiful about him. And no one is unloveable. Not even the meanest person in the world because I would bet that not feeling truly loved probably turned him into the meanest person in the world.
Watch this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jg-O7f_1Ngc
@1e) The point is, a lot of people want their SO to be not ugly so it lowers their chances of finding someone and even if you think the meanest person in the world is lovable, again, a lot of people would not want to date them.
Don't feel so bad. Most people are ugly/ok looking. It's hard to find someone who is truly good looking. I find unique looking people to be the most good looking but they also polarize people immensely. Generic hot is just a tan and plastic (not really sure what the fuss is all about). Just get rich and pay for a whore if you are really desperate to fuck...
@1a: if you tell people who are self-described as ugly that they are beautiful, you are affirming that being ugly is not okay.
Frankly, I would like to ditch this bullshit. Beauty is by definition a scarce characteristic, a value on a spectrum. I would far rather reject the concept of beauty as worth than tell everyone they're beautiful in their own way. If everyone is beautiful, then the term loses any definition---no one is, as a result. Only conditioned belief doesn't actually work that way, so all you've done is reinforced the idea that you need beauty to have worth.
That is so true :( But you know, it's never too late to start caring about people for who they are and not just for the amount of pleasure you can get from them. To see them as persons who are more than just collection of body parts for sexual gratification.
Well, I have major issues with opening up to people. I act fiercely independent and I always put a strong front, but I'm quite the opposite. However, I have issues showing my emotional side because I feel like I'm burdening them. This makes others feel like the relationship is one-sided.
I find fault in every guy, I try not to but I just can't help it anymore. I am aware what no one is perfect including myself but I just rather be alone.
Because my crippling insecurity and barely-veiled bitterness makes girls not only unconsciously find me unappealing but consciously aware of/repelled by my desperation?
I really wish I had this problem. It would be so much easier to deal with...I am completely opposite and I have a great boyfriend who I really care about but I just keep meeting guys who are into me and really awesome and it just drives me insane because I like my boyfriend and want to keep him around but I can't help but wonder what if with the others...sigh...
Because most men seem to want a girlfriend to adore them and validate them and I'm too busy adoring and validating myself. I could never play second fiddle; I want an equal partner.
It seems to me that a lot of the posters are insecure - why is that so? . No one' s perfect and mistakes can happen, but I think you should try your best to become happy.
How can somebody be unlovable.... the only thing blocking others from loving you are your own mental or physical barriers. Stop playing the victim and others will stop seeing you as one.
What do you mean he lied about who he was? Like, he said he's a student studying Math here but really he was a meth dealer? Mind giving some detail (just a bit)?
Not 19 but same thing happened to me. He lied about his degree and grades. He also lied about having already gotten into grad school. He told me a lot of sob stories about his parents/childhood too which were also probably fake. The guy was a manipulative narcissistic pathological liar. I think he must have had some sort of personality disorder.
19 here. He lied about his age, his job, etc. He also robbed me. There are many more horrible things he did but I think that's enough info over the internet. I was beyond heartbroken. Everyone, please be careful when dating...
@19c, thank you for sharing your story. My person sounds exactly like yours and I hope you find someone who is honest and loving
19c here. The guy I went out with robbed me too in a way. He got my sympathy and borrowed a significant amount of money from me, which I never got back.
19, it's terrible to hear that this stuff has happened to other people as well. I hope these guys get what they deserve. Anyway, best of luck to you too, I'm sure you'll meet someone awesome eventually :)
Cause I am ugly and unlovable
ReplyDeleteNo, you are not. You are beautiful. You are loveable. You are enough. I don't know what experiences you've been through or what you have done but nothing can make you unloveable. <3
Delete^ oh shut up
DeleteSee anonymity makes it hard to believe. your blatant patronizing of him actually suggests that you think he is an idiot who doesn't know himself either.
DeleteSo stop being a bitch and HELP him accept the fact that he may be ugly and unloveable... I GOT YOU 1
@1) Once you accept that you are currently ugly and unlovable, you can change that. Most people don't accept it and stay that way. I'm not unlovable and never have been but I used to be unattractive (not super ugly though) and I fixed it because it's really not that hard to not be ugly if you actually put in effort.
DeleteAlthough the unlovable thing may take more time than the ugly thing, it should also be fixable if you're willing to put in that time to improve yourself.
@1c. I was not patronizing him. I don't think that he or she is an idiot who doesn't know himself. Sometimes we are our worst critic and only focus on our flaws. Sure there are ugly parts inside each of us, but there's beauty as well. I've yet to find someone who isn't beautiful. I don't just mean physical attractiveness. When you're beautiful from the inside, it will radiate out. Whoever is going to spend the rest of his life with you will care more about the beauty within. I believe that each person has something beautiful about him. And no one is unloveable. Not even the meanest person in the world because I would bet that not feeling truly loved probably turned him into the meanest person in the world.
DeleteWatch this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jg-O7f_1Ngc
@1e) The point is, a lot of people want their SO to be not ugly so it lowers their chances of finding someone and even if you think the meanest person in the world is lovable, again, a lot of people would not want to date them.
DeleteDon't feel so bad. Most people are ugly/ok looking. It's hard to find someone who is truly good looking. I find unique looking people to be the most good looking but they also polarize people immensely. Generic hot is just a tan and plastic (not really sure what the fuss is all about). Just get rich and pay for a whore if you are really desperate to fuck...
Delete@1a: if you tell people who are self-described as ugly that they are beautiful, you are affirming that being ugly is not okay.
DeleteFrankly, I would like to ditch this bullshit. Beauty is by definition a scarce characteristic, a value on a spectrum. I would far rather reject the concept of beauty as worth than tell everyone they're beautiful in their own way. If everyone is beautiful, then the term loses any definition---no one is, as a result. Only conditioned belief doesn't actually work that way, so all you've done is reinforced the idea that you need beauty to have worth.
Because i only care about sex
ReplyDeleteThat is so true :( But you know, it's never too late to start caring about people for who they are and not just for the amount of pleasure you can get from them. To see them as persons who are more than just collection of body parts for sexual gratification.
DeleteOr...forever...with someone?
Deletesure, 2a, but i'm not sure it's worth it at a fundamental level
DeleteI'm not going to be.........
ReplyDeleteIt's ok, I'll always have Hanako.
ReplyDeleteWorst girl.
DeleteHardly 4a, unless you couldn't handle the shear amount of feels.
Delete<3 Hanako
@4b: The only "shear" here is the one that needs to be given to her hair.
DeleteHaha, who was your favourite?
DeleteI agree with 4 on this one though.
Well, I have major issues with opening up to people. I act fiercely independent and I always put a strong front, but I'm quite the opposite. However, I have issues showing my emotional side because I feel like I'm burdening them. This makes others feel like the relationship is one-sided.
ReplyDeleteMy problem exactly.
DeleteI worry too much about ruining a relationship to even start one.
ReplyDelete+1
DeleteI find fault in every guy, I try not to but I just can't help it anymore. I am aware what no one is perfect including myself but I just rather be alone.
ReplyDeletethat*
DeleteI have impossibly high standards for others but incredibly low expectations for myself.
ReplyDeleteBecause I've somehow made it twenty without ever going on a date
ReplyDeleteDitto. I also see all women as golddiggers who want to use me while having a jock's baby.
Deleteinb4 feminist shitstorm
Lol, asshole, you won't even begin to compete with my earnings for another 10 years. Go cry in a corner and keep telling spermjacking stories.
Delete^ you don't even know me lol
DeleteAw don't worry about it :)
DeleteGirls go through that too!!
-Girl
Because my crippling insecurity and barely-veiled bitterness makes girls not only unconsciously find me unappealing but consciously aware of/repelled by my desperation?
ReplyDeleteI really wish I had this problem. It would be so much easier to deal with...I am completely opposite and I have a great boyfriend who I really care about but I just keep meeting guys who are into me and really awesome and it just drives me insane because I like my boyfriend and want to keep him around but I can't help but wonder what if with the others...sigh...
ReplyDeleteThis is the wrong thread to post this in.
DeleteBecause most men seem to want a girlfriend to adore them and validate them and I'm too busy adoring and validating myself. I could never play second fiddle; I want an equal partner.
ReplyDeleteIt seems to me that a lot of the posters are insecure - why is that so? . No one' s perfect and mistakes can happen, but I think you should try your best to become happy.
ReplyDeleteHow can somebody be unlovable.... the only thing blocking others from loving you are your own mental or physical barriers. Stop playing the victim and others will stop seeing you as one.
ReplyDeleteBecause I want to save myself until I'm married. No one ever just wants to get to know me or appreciate me. So yeah, forever alone, but that's cool!
ReplyDeleteTry being interested in other people so that they'll be interested in you! Most people love to talk about themselves...
ReplyDeleteBecause I'm fucking fat and ugly.
ReplyDeleteWell if that's the only problem, you can just work out/eat healthy and wear some makeup/dress nicely? :)
ReplyDeleteThe first and only guy I've dated lied about who he was. Trust issues now.
ReplyDeleteSame here @19.
DeleteWhat do you mean he lied about who he was? Like, he said he's a student studying Math here but really he was a meth dealer? Mind giving some detail (just a bit)?
DeleteNot 19 but same thing happened to me. He lied about his degree and grades. He also lied about having already gotten into grad school. He told me a lot of sob stories about his parents/childhood too which were also probably fake. The guy was a manipulative narcissistic pathological liar. I think he must have had some sort of personality disorder.
DeleteLet's hear some details!
Delete19 here. He lied about his age, his job, etc. He also robbed me. There are many more horrible things he did but I think that's enough info over the internet. I was beyond heartbroken. Everyone, please be careful when dating...
Delete@19c, thank you for sharing your story. My person sounds exactly like yours and I hope you find someone who is honest and loving
19c here. The guy I went out with robbed me too in a way. He got my sympathy and borrowed a significant amount of money from me, which I never got back.
Delete19, it's terrible to hear that this stuff has happened to other people as well. I hope these guys get what they deserve. Anyway, best of luck to you too, I'm sure you'll meet someone awesome eventually :)
Because I'm going for the achievement
ReplyDelete