QUESTION: I still live at home with my parents and I feel like it's difficult to be independent and grown-up while living in this situation. Does anyone else feel this way? Any solutions (besides moving out-that is not an immediate possibility for everybody)?
Live at home and save your money so that you can easily move out when the time comes
ReplyDeleteGo out a lot, and rely on your own money for everyday spending as much as you can.
ReplyDeleteThis is why I never stay home for work terms.
ReplyDeleteAs someone who spent two work terms living at home, I can see where you're coming from. I think that given the situation, #1 and #2 have good ideas about what you can do. I personally did enjoy saving the money, and in my second work term at home spent a lot of time out with others. It really helps if you do this.
ReplyDeleteCould you comment on some of the things you believe make you feel less "independent and grown-up"? It might help with our advice! :)
I think it has to do with some things that I can't change easily. Like the fact that I don't pay them rent. They simply won't allow it. Which I can understand sounds great, but I would like to help out. I also don't cook for myself, since I eat dinner with my parents if I'm home in the evenings. I guess learning to cook would be a good start to feeling grown-up?
DeleteI think that the feeling really wont leave you until you move out. There isn't much you can do to avoid this unless you spend all of your time out, or arrive home later and cook for yourself like you suggested. I mean, a family meal isn't the worst situation, but you did imply that you wanted more independence, and that really wont come while living with the parents.
DeleteWhy don't you offer to cook dinner for your family once a week?
DeleteGood idea, I'll work on my cooking skills.
DeleteIt is impossible unless your parents are completely on board with it.
ReplyDeleteMy biggest complaint living at home on a work term is my mother's kitchen, it is so freaking messy and disorganized. I cannot stand cooking in it. I tried cleaning and organizing it, but it is usually back to chaos within a day.
wow, lot of clean freaks on this site.
DeleteI moved back in with my parents to help with the cost of school. We set rules - I cook for myself, and pay (discounted) rent. I do all my own cleaning, chores, etc. I have my own bathroom and kitchenet in the basement. We live as landlord and tenet for the formal stuff.
ReplyDeleteWe say hi in the morning and everything, and maybe chat a couple times a week in the evening in their living room usually. My space is respected, and meeting in THEIR living room imitates me coming over to visit as a guest.
It has worked great for us - 3 years strong. You have to approach this as adults and not as a dependent/parent situation.
This seems like a fantastic set up! I feel like an arrangement like this one could be hugely beneficial to your relationship with your parents. Sweet!
DeleteThis is so ridiculous to me. You realize that for all intents and purposes you still live at home. So no one is looking at you any differently than if you didn't give up ALL the perks of living at home, but you did give them up. I guess good for you if you're happy with it.
DeleteThis would never work for brown people, because brown parents love their kids too much.
DeleteAnd I am 100% sure this guy is white. Also, it sounds like your parents don't love you
@6c: If love is training your kids to be dependent on you forever, then I guess 6's parents don't love him. Are you planning on always living with your parents and having them look after you until the day they die?
DeleteSince you brought up ethnicity, I'll say that in my experience, East Asian and brown students are much worse at taking care of themselves when it comes to cooking, cleaning, and being responsible members of a household.
6 here. I find it funny you all assume I am a male. I am female. But yes, I am white.
DeleteI have also lived on my own for a number of years, so returning home and re-entering a traditional parent/child relationship would ruin us. I am an adult, and they treat me that way. Because we all respect the agreement, it allows us to enjoy the time we do spend together and reduces the chances of them bugging me or them feeling like I am mooching.
It may not work for everyone, but I think a discussion about rules and boundaries is important none the less.
Oh, and 6b: I didn't move in for free food, cooking, or laundry. I moved in for reduced rent and to help them pay their mortgage. I don't need my parents to baby me.
This is pretty messed up, I feel bad for you.
DeleteThe rent, cooking, boundaries all make sense, it's the last part of the first paragraph that's really fucked.
DeleteCrazy loveless white people
@6g Hey! Some of us have parents who love us for us - not just the tax breaks! :p
Delete^lol yeah. I think that you would that even among "white people", 6's situation is very abnormal.
DeleteI wish I could live at home for university, so much money would be saved.
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way, but yea, going out more definitely helps. It's not like you have to spend money, but at least feeling like you can go home late is nice. I finally have the chance to live away from home for co-op next term, so if you ever get that chance, make sure to make the best out of the experience.
ReplyDeleteI think it depends what you mean by independent. If you mean you wanna taje care of yourself and not rely on them then are things you can do. Start with the small stuff like cooking for yourself and cleaning up after yourself. If they really wont let you pay rent then at least try to not rely on them financially in any other ways. Honestly from what I hear from my friends who still live at home most of the issues they have are over things like curfews. I personally believe that as long as youre under their roof its reasonable that you follow their rules (exceptions exist obv)
ReplyDeleteYou crazy? Freeload bud. Save it all up
ReplyDelete