OMG UPDATE: Question? Answer.

Updated on Monday, June 23

#6710

QUESTION: What does it mean if my boyfriend doesn't want to be facebook official? He's on his first co-op term right now and I'm at home for the summer. Is he embarrassed of me? I'm white and he's korean.

22 comments

  1. Ditch him ASAP. He's trying to cheat on you.

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    1. Or he's just the type of guy who doesn't think everything has to be shared. Why does the whole world have to know the details of your life? If the girl is in the relationship just so she can be FBO then its not a very sound relationship. He also may just want to wait until you're out of the honey moon phase to see that this will actually be a lasting relationship.

      I started seeing a girl who would post a picture from every activity we would do together. It got really annoying because it seemed like she cared more about the appearance of our relationship than the relationship itself.

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    2. Ignore 1.a OP. Male here who knows that 1 is speaking the truth. That'd be exactly what I would do if I wanted to cheat.

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    3. My ex wasn't keen on the idea, gave the reason it's nobody's business, was willing if I insisted, I had too much pride to insist.

      My ex cheated

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  2. I don't know what he's like, but sometimes people just like to keep things private. If he's the type of person who likes to overshare stuff on Facebook/Instagram/Twitter then yes something may be up.

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  3. For my past relationships I've always made in FB official, because I was the type of person to share everything. I'm not like that anymore, which is why I'm not FB official with my current s/o. If people actually cared whether I was in a relationship or not, they can just ask me. (Plus if you ever break up, it can get awkward..)

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    1. Why do you keep such random people as friends on your facebook?

      Just set it so only friends can see, and remove people you don't want to see as friends

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  4. Maybe he doesn't want to draw attention to himself and you. When I first starting dating, I didn't want to make things FB official with my ex-gf for a few months because I wasn't comfortable with the idea.

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  5. Most of my friends aren't Facebook official with their relationships. Then again, they're not 14-year-olds who post every single detail of their lives online.

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    1. Thank you, why does this seem so necessary to everyone??

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  6. Because he's scared of being judged based on your relationship because
    1. he thinks you'll break up soon, he's rather not have everyone know if you're about to be a ex gf
    2. he's ashamed of you. either to his friends or family members he has. I don't buy the bullshit "we're not fb official because I have my family on my fb" - if you're dating someone who you can't proudly date and present to family, are you really dating them?

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    1. Or people just don't want everything about them to be online. How is this so hard to understand?

      I've met my boyfriend's close friends and family, but there's nothing about our relationship on Facebook - and there doesn't need to be.

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  7. It's more weird to have so many random people as friends, rather than share with you friends who one of the most significant people in your life is. ("significant other")

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  8. I'm surprised no one has mentioned that he might have family on his Facebook account that he doesn't want to know about the relationship. For all you know, his family could be super strict about dating.

    Basically, many possibilities. Your best bet? ASK.
    Be worried only when he refuses to give you a straight/legit answer.

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    1. I wouldn't want to date someone that didn't feel I was "enough" to proudly introduce me to his family.

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    2. Some families, like mine, it wouldn't matter who you were, you could be the greatest person in the world and it would still be frowned upon.

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    3. Then I would be out.
      I think this changes as you progress through university. I can understand parents being over-protective in first year. But towards the end, most parents expect S/Os.

      If you're dating someone with the prospect for long-term/marriage potential, then family acceptance is sort of required

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    4. I'm korean as well, and I'm not facebook official with my girlfriend. My parents are super strict and they'd be pissed off if they knew I was dating a non-korean.

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    5. @8d: At what point would you let them know? Moving in? Engagement? Wedding day?

      I guess I can see that point of not dealing with it until you know its going to be long-term but eventually you're just putting off the inevitable and creating strain in the relationship. Btw, even if she says its fine, she'd want to meet your family if its a serious relationship.

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  9. it means break up with him then go to phil's and we'll hook up.

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  10. I dated a chinese/viet guy (I'm white) and he would not tell anyone we were dating. We had to keep it a secret from his family too. This went on for 3 years.

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