OMG UPDATE: Question? Answer.

Updated on Tuesday, June 3

#6600

QUESTION: I like a girl. I am having trouble telling if she likes me back, but I don't want her to feel awkward or singled out if I ask her. Do you think I should keep hanging out with her, continue to get to know her, and wait to see if she likes me? Or should I keep my options open and spread my focus to other ladies?

26 comments

  1. If you're not sure, why don't you just ask her out on a date?
    You're not in a relationship, so it's fine to keep your options open but still attempt to get to know her more.

    ReplyDelete
  2. If you like her, why would you want to keep your "options open?" Ask her out for god's sake and make it clear that it's a date. If she says no, then she says no. At least you'll know where you stand.

    ReplyDelete
  3. What makes you think she doesn't like you back?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Divide and conquer

    ReplyDelete
  5. get your titty grabbing skills out

    ReplyDelete
  6. So you don't know for sure if she likes you. Then you spread your attention to other ladies. What makes you think you'll know if other girls will like you? Are you gonna keep "spreading your focus" until the girl asks you out or something?

    ReplyDelete
  7. OP here:

    Interesting replies. Thank you for them! I guess it's true, I should just ask her to hang out and make it clear I mean it as a "date". I have done similar things, but it's difficult when you're not sure how the female is interpreting it. I've heard stories of people going on "dates", but the other side just thought it was friends getting to know one-another.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The woman. Not "the female". We're people too...

      It's good of you to not want to put her on the spot. +1 to asking her out, but if she says no, you should continue to respect her boundaries and not try to convince her otherwise. That's all I can add.

      Delete
    2. 7a - That's just nitpicking. "The female" is perfectly fine.

      OP: I'm struggling with the same thing. I think it's important to just get it out there. I've had many a sleepless night thinking about her but have found that looking for others just won't work. I mean, what if she likes me and doesn't have the courage to ask? If I start going after other girls, that might bite me in the ass. Even if she says she doesn't think of you that way, you might "plant the seed" leading to something in the future. Even if it's a definite no, it will give you some closure and allow you to move on.

      Delete
    3. b: no it's really not. I cringe every time someone calls me a "feeeemale". This is not Quark's bar.

      But thank you for mansplaining that to me, clearly my own experience as a "female" is worthless and I'm glad this big strong man has set me straight on the issue! How foolish of me to think my opinion mattered... it's a good thing there are such smart guys around to correct me and take care of me.

      Delete
    4. @7b, as a guy I don't get the impulse you have to say "no, this word is fine". I mean, what do you lose by just not using a word that some people are clearly offended by/not happy with? Is it really such an issue of pride? Whether your thoughts on the word support the need to not use it isn't even important.

      Delete
    5. no 7d, sometimes you just have to say that something is stupid and this is stupid. Male and Female are both perfectly normal terms. Women still face a lot of problems and discrimination but this is not a big deal at all. People like this give all women and feminism a bad name.

      - A female

      Delete
  8. I have no qualms being called "the male", so I'm not sure of your point. Sorry if I offended you!

    I do agree with the addition. I'll definitely lay off when she seems uninterested or tells me she is. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is reasonable, OP. I can't imagine you're called "male" more than "guy" or "person" though, so it's not going to have the same impact on you. Just wanted to let you know there is not an equivalence between the two.

      Delete
    2. Initially I had written "the lady", but I didn't want to offend anyone, and now female is bad also. I didn't write woman because people also use that negatively...

      Delete
    3. Oh man 8b, life is hard isn't it?...

      Delete
  9. What's the point of focusing on other women? You might end up in the same situation all over again. If you like her, go for it.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I conquer with the other posters OP. Be open and honest.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 10 here: Oh jeez, I was really tired when I wrote this. Thanks 10a.

      Delete
  11. OP Here:

    Another factor; Friend likes/liked her, but she has discussed with him and decided against a relationship.. So do I ignore the friend's feelings?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 10 here: I would let this friend know that you like this girl.
      He cannot physically stop you but it would be best not to blindside him, and it would be nice to get his approval.

      Delete
  12. I just started dating this guy after 3+ years of mutual feelings going unexpressed. Don't be stupid like me. Get it out there sooner rather than later.

    ReplyDelete
  13. OP Here:

    I told the girl I liked her.

    Her response: "Finally."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *high fives* That wasn't so bad now, was it? :) - 12

      Delete