Yes. We're black but have light skin. They wouldn't want me dating someone who's black with dark skin. I think my mom also wouldn't want me dating an Asian. White (who is willing to switch religion) or same race as me would make them happy.
1c. It's not uncommon. They were raised religious and they were raised to think that lighter skin is better. I don't think it's something they really thought out.
my first relationship ended EXACTLY because of this (and some other personal things too, but a lot of it was influenced by this). we were together for 3 years and it all just ended... i'm still kind of upset, but i'm more upset at myself than anything else.
My parents don't care who I date, but they want me to marry a Jewish girl (my family is Jewish). I've told them numerous times I'm atheist and not religious and will not date/marry someone with conflicting views.
Yeah I've dated a couple randos already, but I've yet to date a Jewish girl, and honestly they don't appeal to me. I want a girl that has the same values as me, and my parents don't understand that my values don't align with theirs.
6.c first define Jewish girl. If it's a girl raised Jewish but no longer practicing nor believing in it then I do not consider that girl Jewish (maybe my parents do). But if it's a practicing Jewish girl I won't do it just to please my parents. My own happiness and fulfilment comes before my parents wishes for me.
+1 6e. Some people would call it selfish but I believe every so often we have to put ourselves first before family. In the end, my happiness should make them happy.
Race, no. They would prefer brown, but in the end it wouldn't matter. Religion would be the main issue. In the end though, I live my life with my own values, not my parents'.
My parents are a bit fickle. They themselves are of mixed heritage, but have clear racial prejudices. They mainly identify as one particular race, even though my mother mostly looks like the other race she does not identify with. (Even growing up, I didn't consider my mother to be the same race as my dad.)
Anyways, my parents and other family members, would not like if I dated someone Arab.
As for religion, if my S.O. wasn't of the same religious background as my family, they wouldn't support that relationship.
Parents requiring a certain religion seems so silly to me. If I loved someone and wanted to marry her I wouldn't mind learning some new songs and going to a particular place of worship on whatever holidays apply. I mean, I'd rather not, but its not like we don't already do so much silly shit we don't actually believe in. Maybe I'll even vote some day haha
Its good to be mixed.. parents dont care who i date... but they dont want me to be involved in a relationship until i finish my education..lmao that would be a long While.
No BMWs! (my parents don't use this term...I do, in order to explain their standards)
It means, no blacks, Muslims, or whites.
I'm brown if you haven't guessed already. Religion is huge for my parents. We're catholic and my parents would be devasted if I married somebody of a different religion. Even if his was brown and practiced Hinduism or Buddhism (still just as bad)
That being said, I am dating a white guy. He's agnostic, but his family used to be some denomination of Christianity, so i've used that to my advantage.
I used to call my parents racists to their face lol. But my dad would respond and say "its not the colour of his skin, its the culture". He just meant that they are more worried about the cultural barriers (with good reason).
It would definitely be hard for my parents and his to have a good relationship, let alone communicate. When there is a language/cultural barrier, its difficult at times to get to know somebody's personality (humor is very different) and this makes me sad because I love his parents and I love mine. I just wish they could be best friends (fantasy world, I know).
My parents were also arranged, so I know its not an easy thing for them to understand. But they are learning, and I love them for it. I mostly love the fact that they would do anything to make me happy, including letting me choose somebody I love.
Are my parents racist? Definitely. Father is more racist thab my mom.
Do they care about who I marry? Yeah... they seem to be most approving if I date other white guys. I dated a guy from HK and didn't tell them because I was worried about their commentary... STEM is like 60% white though, so my numbers seem to match up quite closely with that, and it averts a lot of parental concern I think.
Yes. We're black but have light skin. They wouldn't want me dating someone who's black with dark skin. I think my mom also wouldn't want me dating an Asian. White (who is willing to switch religion) or same race as me would make them happy.
ReplyDeleteThat's not racist, its called self-hate haha.
DeleteSelf-hate can still be racist...
DeleteIt's ironic how your parents are concerned about religion but preach ignorance regarding skin complexion.
DeleteSome say the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice. I say the darker the flesh then the deeper the roots.
Delete-2pac
1c. It's not uncommon. They were raised religious and they were raised to think that lighter skin is better. I don't think it's something they really thought out.
Deletemy first relationship ended EXACTLY because of this (and some other personal things too, but a lot of it was influenced by this).
ReplyDeletewe were together for 3 years and it all just ended...
i'm still kind of upset, but i'm more upset at myself than anything else.
Brown mom and family who would not be okay with anything other than my specific kind of brown. Ignored that and lived my life anyways.
ReplyDeleteMy parents don't care who I date, but they want me to marry a Jewish girl (my family is Jewish). I've told them numerous times I'm atheist and not religious and will not date/marry someone with conflicting views.
ReplyDeleteSo they want you to date a couple randos before settling down with a nice Jewish girl. Interesting parenting going on here.
DeleteYeah I've dated a couple randos already, but I've yet to date a Jewish girl, and honestly they don't appeal to me. I want a girl that has the same values as me, and my parents don't understand that my values don't align with theirs.
Delete6.c first define Jewish girl. If it's a girl raised Jewish but no longer practicing nor believing in it then I do not consider that girl Jewish (maybe my parents do). But if it's a practicing Jewish girl I won't do it just to please my parents. My own happiness and fulfilment comes before my parents wishes for me.
Delete+1 6e. Some people would call it selfish but I believe every so often we have to put ourselves first before family. In the end, my happiness should make them happy.
Delete6c*
ReplyDeleteRace, no. They would prefer brown, but in the end it wouldn't matter. Religion would be the main issue. In the end though, I live my life with my own values, not my parents'.
ReplyDeleteParents don't care about race/religion :)
ReplyDeleteMy parents are a bit fickle. They themselves are of mixed heritage, but have clear racial prejudices. They mainly identify as one particular race, even though my mother mostly looks like the other race she does not identify with. (Even growing up, I didn't consider my mother to be the same race as my dad.)
ReplyDeleteAnyways, my parents and other family members, would not like if I dated someone Arab.
As for religion, if my S.O. wasn't of the same religious background as my family, they wouldn't support that relationship.
Parents requiring a certain religion seems so silly to me. If I loved someone and wanted to marry her I wouldn't mind learning some new songs and going to a particular place of worship on whatever holidays apply. I mean, I'd rather not, but its not like we don't already do so much silly shit we don't actually believe in. Maybe I'll even vote some day haha
ReplyDeleteI'm white, and I only date black guys... my parents don't approve at alllll.
ReplyDeleteStatistically supported prejudice.
DeleteIts good to be mixed.. parents dont care who i date... but they dont want me to be involved in a relationship until i finish my education..lmao that would be a long While.
ReplyDeleteNo BMWs! (my parents don't use this term...I do, in order to explain their standards)
ReplyDeleteIt means, no blacks, Muslims, or whites.
I'm brown if you haven't guessed already. Religion is huge for my parents. We're catholic and my parents would be devasted if I married somebody of a different religion. Even if his was brown and practiced Hinduism or Buddhism (still just as bad)
That being said, I am dating a white guy. He's agnostic, but his family used to be some denomination of Christianity, so i've used that to my advantage.
I used to call my parents racists to their face lol. But my dad would respond and say "its not the colour of his skin, its the culture". He just meant that they are more worried about the cultural barriers (with good reason).
It would definitely be hard for my parents and his to have a good relationship, let alone communicate. When there is a language/cultural barrier, its difficult at times to get to know somebody's personality (humor is very different) and this makes me sad because I love his parents and I love mine. I just wish they could be best friends (fantasy world, I know).
My parents were also arranged, so I know its not an easy thing for them to understand. But they are learning, and I love them for it. I mostly love the fact that they would do anything to make me happy, including letting me choose somebody I love.
I guess white is right! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
ReplyDeletebut seriously I'm not that racist
Are my parents racist? Definitely. Father is more racist thab my mom.
ReplyDeleteDo they care about who I marry? Yeah... they seem to be most approving if I date other white guys. I dated a guy from HK and didn't tell them because I was worried about their commentary... STEM is like 60% white though, so my numbers seem to match up quite closely with that, and it averts a lot of parental concern I think.
15, Giselle?
ReplyDeleteMy mother wouldn't give a damn who I date, as long as he's charming. ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm Asian. My parents wouldn't be happy if I dated a black/darker brown guy.
ReplyDeleteEuropean girl, and not supposed to date Muslims or "people of colour". Hence why I've had to hide my relationship for the past 3 years. *Sigh*
ReplyDeletesame, asian parents, would not let me marry black/brown guys
ReplyDeleteoh btw i'm not gay
my family doesn't care
ReplyDeletethey just want me to be happy