OMG UPDATE: Question? Answer.

Updated on Sunday, May 25

#6562

QUESTION: Why does UW have such an isolating culture? It seems impossible to meet cool people that want to make new friends and would actually hang out outside of school. People you talk to in class just talk about schoolwork and use you for help/answers. Most people seem to have a few friends and just aren't interested in making new ones or getting to know someone on any personal level. And i"m just talking about making friends, let alone meeting a girl and developing a relationship. It makes going to school a lonely and depressing experience. Do others get the same impression or is it just bad experience on my part? Suggestions would be very welcome. And I'm a white male in science if that's important

25 comments

  1. I think a lot of people decided early on who they were going to be around and stuck to it. Lots of others are really busy and don't really think about friendship while their scrambling to get work done.

    Perhaps if you initiate the hang-outs it would work better? I know I've done that recently, sometimes to be shot down but others to have a good time! :)

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  2. I agree that it is difficult to make friends who want to hang out with you outside of school and homework and what not. But, in my last two terms (so last fall and winter), I have been able to make a lot more friends. I think in part it has to do with making plans with others as #1 said. But also, try to find something in common that you and friends can do weekly (i.e. go to the gym, clubs or whatever).

    Sincerely,

    Girl in Science :)

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  3. asian male in math

    agree 100%

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  4. clubs mate, join one

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  5. I'm also a white male in science and I have had the exact same experience dude. It probably doesn't help that I live off campus. I've tried to initiate hangouts with the friends I've made here, but haven't really had any success. It has definitely been a lonely and depressing 3 years :(

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  6. well, to make friends you gotta look good and be personable (i.e. charismatic + well-adjusted)

    otherwise you're fukked, no joke

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  7. Make yourself more interesting. I don't mean act weirdly. Go out and try shit. Take a cooking class or sumshit, doesn't matter what you do, always improve yourself. You'll also pick up friends along the way.

    Also, try to be attractive.

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  8. I've found this to be a cultural thing in math. Trying to get people to do shit other than their classes is a fight. There's this mentality that working 80 hours a week is admirable. Then god forbid you ask to cut into their academic time to do something social that costs MONEY? Oh hell no.

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  9. OP - any club suggestions?

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    1. i met all my friends in a sports club. u play any sports OP?

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    2. ^ btw i went to clubs day some time ago - the amount of weird-ass clubs they have now is astounding, anyone would find something

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    3. There is no pinkie fencing club. Checkmate atheists.

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    4. FOCUS! I met some really cool people there, volunteering for the FEDS food bank, even volunteering for Welcome Week you can meet some cool people

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  10. If your program has club space go hang out there and talk to people! If there are people you want to befriend, use school as an easy conversation starter. Suggest you work on an assignment as a group, get coffee, go to the gym or go to a campus event like trivia. It's a gradual process! I think a lot of people are up for new friendships, it's just not as intense as it was in grade school. It's mostly just who's around/in your classes that you can laugh and have a good time with. - Girl in science

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  11. I have the exact same problem man. I'm in Arts and Business and I have the same problem with people here--it's not just a math/science/engineering problem. I think every University, like every city or country, has a certain culture that comes along with it and ours simply values hard work and studying more than building social relationships. It's not necessarily such a bad thing but it does leave the rest of us in the corner.

    It may sound dark but I've mostly given up trying to make meaningful relationships at uWaterloo. I used to blame myself for my lack of friends but working in Toronto last semester I discovered that forming relationships with people that you'd be happy to see after hours is not hard--it just depends on the environment.

    I'm not saying you'll never make friends in Waterloo but don't force it. You might come across someone that you have a connection with--who knows? Just less likely in Waterloo than somewhere else.\

    Good luck OP! Sorry for the essay. You sound cool so maybe our paths will cross.

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    1. Just to add to your second sentence… I've always felt that for the most part, it isn't a problem in engineering because our classes are in cohorts. We see and sit with the same people in almost every class.

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  12. I think it's definitely an easier time to bond in eng, since we have the same classmates for everything.

    I think people are lazy and you shouldn't depend on them to set stuff up if you are missing something. Be the person who does cool shit and ask people to come along, good chance they will. There really is a huge variety of people here into a lot of different things so I'm sure you can find someone like minded. Your job is just to make sure hanging out with you is more fun than not :)

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  13. A lot of the friends I've made have been ones that I've talked to in class, asked if they wanted to work on assignments with me, and then starting hanging out with from there. I'd be more than happy to make new friends, and I'm sure others feel the same way! :)

    - Girl in biology

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  14. 100% agree. Just graduated science female. help...graudate life no better. I'll be in dc

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  15. I even find it difficult to make conversation with people in my classes. Don't get me wrong, I've met some great people, super friendly, but most of the time, when I try to start a conversation with someone, they won't even answer back- I'm not even exaggerating. I just get a rigid nod, and it usually isn't even in my direction.
    I understand if you have social anxiety- I'm naturally quite introverted myself- but it feels pretty shitty to be constantly rejected in that way by strangers. Discourages me a little bit every single time.

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  16. Clubs are the greatest thing for this at Waterloo. There's a bunch of cool people in the Improv Club, and they perform a few times a semester around campus and Waterloo.

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  17. Join a club. So many clubs. Join a cappella :)

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  18. I agree. One of Waterloo's biggest problems is that there isn't any free socializing space that feels stress-free. All the student spaces on campus are bookable, so they aren't always free, and clubs require commitment that sometimes people aren't able to put up. Also, I find that a lot of people have an agenda anyways, as in they only want to have sex. If people would quit that mentality and just be open to ideas and have no agenda, everyone would meet so many new cool people!

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    Replies
    1. and then what?

      therefore, sex

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  19. OP; I am exactly like you. It sad especially when you don't fit in because your a minority. Everyone is really into hanging out with people from their culture. I found this to be the most isolating factor. As well idk I find Uw students these days so awkward; it seems so difficult for them to have small talk with anyone other than their friend group. Anyways glad im graduating this term and getting out of this town; seems like i've been here forever.

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