@1a What if he just wants to be friends? Due to my program, I'd say about 90% of people I interact with are males, and the same number goes for my friends. This poses a bigger problem actually, since I don't want to assume romantic intentions and turn down a potential friend. On the other hand, if I assume there's no romantic feelings involved, I might sign up for a date I didn't mean to...
@1b I am, but I'd die before I ask someone outright how they felt about me. I stutter and blush on occasion for no good reason, never mind bringing this up!
If he touches you, he's flirting. If not, just go with it until he tries to touch you while talking to get closer and then just pull away a bit so he gets the idea.
seriously?! this is 1b and I judge you also too passive. and what's this pull away a bit business? he gets the idea that you don't want him to touch you but you don't care enough to vocalize it?
1 & 2: I am outgoing and nice to people, but I would never get touchy. I don't want people to be assuming I like them, even if I do, because I am worried they might not b feel the same. Your statements are a wee bit general.
>I don't want people to be assuming I like them, even if I do
I think that's a problem in itself.
Back to what we were discussing, physical contact is literally the only foolproof way I can tell if a guy is interested. I think people do a lot of verbal flirting without even realizing, so that's not always so reliable, especially so if you're normally outgoing.
Do you want him to be flirty? Then consider flirting back, or making a move on him, or asking him out. Do you want him to be friendly only? Then don't worry about this, as it's his problem, not yours. If he makes his intentions more evident, you can have a conversation with him; until then, enjoy the friendship.
I have the same problem as OP. He's a naturally friendly guy and we're close so I can't tell if he's flirting with me or just super comfortable. Once in a while he'd play footsies, try to tickle me or rest his head against my shoulder if we're sitting beside each other.
Sounds like flirting. More generally, I interpret any physical contact from a guy (that's not, say, friendly hugs or resulting from being really close friends for a while) to indicate interest. Breaking the "touch barrier" is a thing I thought most people were pregnant conscious about in their relationships...
I have the same problem. Even if he invites me to hang out one-on-one, I'm still not sure...
ReplyDeleteThe easiest way for me to tell is to see if he initiates physical contact, like an arm around the waist or playing touching.
you sound so incredibly passive!
Delete@1a
DeleteWhat if he just wants to be friends? Due to my program, I'd say about 90% of people I interact with are males, and the same number goes for my friends. This poses a bigger problem actually, since I don't want to assume romantic intentions and turn down a potential friend. On the other hand, if I assume there's no romantic feelings involved, I might sign up for a date I didn't mean to...
@1b
I am, but I'd die before I ask someone outright how they felt about me. I stutter and blush on occasion for no good reason, never mind bringing this up!
If he touches you, he's flirting. If not, just go with it until he tries to touch you while talking to get closer and then just pull away a bit so he gets the idea.
ReplyDeleteseriously?! this is 1b and I judge you also too passive. and what's this pull away a bit business? he gets the idea that you don't want him to touch you but you don't care enough to vocalize it?
DeleteWhat? How is pulling away passive? It's a pretty obvious sign without making them feel awkward
Delete1 & 2: I am outgoing and nice to people, but I would never get touchy. I don't want people to be assuming I like them, even if I do, because I am worried they might not b feel the same. Your statements are a wee bit general.
ReplyDelete>I don't want people to be assuming I like them, even if I do
DeleteI think that's a problem in itself.
Back to what we were discussing, physical contact is literally the only foolproof way I can tell if a guy is interested. I think people do a lot of verbal flirting without even realizing, so that's not always so reliable, especially so if you're normally outgoing.
Unless you are ugly, then its always just friendly... sorry it's the truth.
ReplyDeleteDo you want him to be flirty? Then consider flirting back, or making a move on him, or asking him out.
ReplyDeleteDo you want him to be friendly only? Then don't worry about this, as it's his problem, not yours. If he makes his intentions more evident, you can have a conversation with him; until then, enjoy the friendship.
I have the same problem as OP. He's a naturally friendly guy and we're close so I can't tell if he's flirting with me or just super comfortable. Once in a while he'd play footsies, try to tickle me or rest his head against my shoulder if we're sitting beside each other.
ReplyDeleteWould like to say this once and for all, tickling is never platonic if it's a person of the sex you are attracted to.
DeleteCannot stress this enough.
Sounds like flirting. More generally, I interpret any physical contact from a guy (that's not, say, friendly hugs or resulting from being really close friends for a while) to indicate interest. Breaking the "touch barrier" is a thing I thought most people were pregnant conscious about in their relationships...
Delete^ LOL. Pretty not pregnant. Gg autocorrect.
Delete6a, wish you told me that 3 years ago.
Delete