OMG UPDATE: Question? Answer.

Updated on Monday, March 17

#7035

QUESTION: My boyfriend always avoids to the question "What if I get pregnant? What would you do?"
He keeps saying nothing will happen but wants me to stop my contraception because of my emotional instability. Any thoughts?

12 comments

  1. I think its unfair for him to say that nothing would happen because something could happen but if birth control is making you unhappy you should definitely quit it.

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  2. I'm assuming you mean oral birth control? Sure, if it makes you unhappy, stop it. But for the love of god, don't just stop using contraception out there. There are a tonne of options.

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  3. I'm with 2

    There are so many other options to hormonal birth control, such as IUD's and barrier methods. There are also different dosages of hormonal birth control and my favourite, the Nuva Ring which is a slow, constant release of hormones.

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  4. Don't stop your birth control because your boyfriend wants you to, especially since he seems to be under the impression pregnancy is magically impossible if you insist it is.

    If it is legitimately making you unhappy, find other options. DO NOT stop using birth control in general, there are tons of other methods as pointed out by 3.

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    1. I agree. It seems like he wants you to stop taking the pill because it's an inconvenience to HIM. He should suck it up and deal with it because with the majority of contraceptive options, you're the one that's going to be making some sort of sacrifice.

      If you stop taking the pill, make sure it's because YOU want to stop.

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  5. Break up with him. He obviously doesn't love and respect you enough. He's one of those types who will be male enough to get a girl pregnant but not man enough to be a daddy. You deserve better.

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  6. I can understand him being worried the pill (?) is screwing with your feelings, but he has no place asking you to stop taking them. I'm assuming he just suggested it as an option. If your BC is messing with your head, try a new one like others suggested (IUDs use a super low dose of hormone for example).

    Some guys just don't know enough about pregnancy and they've never confronted how real of a consequence it really is.. I don't know anything about you or your boyfriend, so I wouldn't say you need to break up like 4 did. If you like your BC, keep it. If you don't, try a new one. I'd have a serious chat with him. I wouldn't want to fuck someone who took pregnancy so lightly. Not reassuring..

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  7. I think if he can't have an adult conversation about the consequences of unprotected sex and pregnancy, then he shouldn't be having sex. I would definitely not stop BC if I were you, especially if you haven't talked to your doctor about it first. There are a LOT of possible reasons for emotional instability.

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    1. Yup, agreed. It could also be the specific birth control you're on. If you switch around or stop, use a condom! It's inconvenient but don't let yourself risk getting pregnant just because he's not being responsible.

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  8. YOU would be the one dealing with the consequences if you got pregnant. YOU would have to go through with either abortion or pregnancy, and endure any shame or ridicule that came your way as a result of the choice. YOUR body would be permanently altered, especially if you went with pregnancy, even if it was a simple pregnancy. YOU would be the one enduring the tortuorous pain of childbirth (if you made that choice) and YOU would be the one who would either be stuck with a kid you don't want, or would have to deal with the emotional fallout of handing it off to an uncertain future without you.

    If he demands/requests you go off BC but can't have a mature conversation with you about what would happen if you fell pregnant, ABSOLUTELY do not stop your birth control. YOU need to protect YOUR body and emotional well-being. If he expects you to do this for his benefit (to presumably have you be less temperamental with him) but can't consider the potential drawbacks then he is being incredibly selfish. Stay on BC until you can sit him down and have a LONG, FRANK conversation: tell him "if I got pregnant I'd want to do X but possibly could decide to do Y depending on the circumstances." (eg maybe the first is abort, the second is adopt if you can't bring yourself to abort. Or whatever.) Or maybe you would absolutely do neither and would carry to term as well as raise the child, in which case you are worried about whether he'd be involved. In that case you need to tell him that you going off BC means that he has to come to terms with the fact that you expect COMMITMENT to raising an accidental child (or paying child support) should it come to that. If he (a) won't agree to that (b) agrees to it but seems at ALL hesitant or insincere, I would still absolutely not go off your birth control.

    Maybe instead, you should go talk to counselling services, and take up exercise, yoga and/or meditation to try to control your emotions if they really are an issue to begin with.

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  9. DO NOT STOP CONTRACEPTION. I was on the pill for a week, but my boyfriend noticed that it was making me incredibly moody and sensitive and wanted me to stop and to take something else. I didn't want to listen to him, believing that it is just my body getting use to it. After another week, he finally convinced me and now I am on the patch instead.

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