QUESTION: Does anyone share my struggles?
Everyday, I restrict,
overexercise, binge, and repeat. It's really taken a toll on my life;
I've lost a lot of friends and most days I just will for something to
take me away. People tell me that I'm thin but they're lying because all
I hear in my mind is: "You're so fat, you're so f-ing fat."
I think everyone as insecurities. And they're largely inflated. I'm sure you look great. :)
ReplyDeleteBody image is such a difficult struggle! I know I have gone through similar struggles.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you are struggling and it could begin to harm your health. I really encourage you to seek a professional you trust who can help you redevelop a healthy lifestyle and healthy image of yourself.
And your friends aren't lying. Your eyes are lying to you about what they see in the mirror.
+1
DeleteThis is called Bulimia. I had it (really, really bad) and have since recovered. I'm not sure what you will find helpful, but for me it was reading body-positive feminist blogs and getting rid of the mirrors in my apartment (and, lots of time and struggle and fuckups, because eating disorders are tricky and it took me years to fully recover). But it can be done, and once it has been, the whole world changes for the better.
ReplyDeleteAnd go see a doctor about it.
ReplyDeleteWhy does everyone need to be diagnosed with something. Are diagnosis' our new identities. JUST STOP IT. Mind over matter.
ReplyDeleteEveryone doesn't "need" to be diagnosed with something. Eating disorders are not normal. Bulimia, binge-eating, and anorexia are problems that need to be treated. People are telling OP to see a doctor because it's unhealthy to be so obsessed with body image that it disrupts your social life and mental health. Binge eating with compensation (e.g. over-exercising) and the negative body image are symptoms of bulimia.
Delete5 are you suggesting that people should stop being diagnosed with physical illnesses as well? Mental health is just like physical health, you can't tell someone to "just stop" having an eating disorder any more than you can tell someone to "just stop" having diabetes.
DeleteMental illness affects 20% of Canadians, it's natural that you'd see quite a few posts from people who suffer from a mental illness here.
It's easier said then done 5. I'm sure you've had a lot of things you wanted to stop doing in your life too, that took a lot of time and effort.
DeleteYou have an eating disorder and should seek medical attention. This is really serious as it can really harm your body. Please go get help :(
ReplyDeleteI would visit the doctor.
ReplyDeleteI share your struggle, its horrible, I hate it and wish it was easier to get help. Its so much harder then just "looking at yourself positively in the mirror" or "reading positive body image blogs".
I don't know about you but I use food (or lack their of) to cope with emotions.
Kati Morton on youtube has some wonderful videos which may help.
I agree with everyone here encouraging you to seek professional help. I also want to say that just aknowledging the problem and writing about it on here is a good first step. You are strong and can get through this.
ReplyDeleteYou're fat
ReplyDeleteYou're fat
ReplyDeleteyou're not fat, I'm going through the same struggles and just booked an appt with counselling services. You are going to be okay and please don't feel alone, you are not the only one going through this shit right now.
ReplyDeletePost your height and weight.
ReplyDeletedont fucking post your height and weight, that is an awful fucking triggering thing to fucking say, wow.
Deletefuck everyone on this thread who doesn't understand that eating disorders are a real legitimate fucking illness.
12a + 1
DeleteOP here. Thanks everyone for the support. I visited both counselling services and health services last year and went to one appointment each. I stopped after one appointment because I felt like I wasn't thin enough to deserve their help. I felt like the whole hour I was in there with the counsellor/doctor, they were judging me on my supposed eating disorder because I'm a couple pounds over what's considered underweight for my height. I know it's stupid because they're professionals but I just couldn't go back. So yes, it's my own fault for not dealing with this properly :(
ReplyDeleteUgh, I know that feel. I've been struggling with disordered eating for years, but I feel like the doctors don't take my body image issues seriously since I'm neither overweight or underweight.
Delete