OMG UPDATE: Question? Answer.

Updated on Sunday, March 9

#6074

QUESTION: Tips for meeting gay people in a new city? I'm not totally comfortable with online dating just yet; wondering if there are any other options. PS, OP is a lesbo.

11 comments

  1. Glow would seem like a pretty reasonable place.
    I have also heard the Little Bean coffee pub is a hot LGTBQ place but I haven't checked it out yet.

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  2. Phil's has tons. Try Wednesdays

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    1. Hiphop night at phils has gay people going to it?

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    2. Is that why most girls that night won't dance with me? If so it all makes sense now...

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    3. ^Probably not the reason mate.

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  3. Hey OP, I'm in the exact same position as you.

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  4. I know this is going to sounds, like, really stereotypical, so I'm sorry in advance. But check out the Women's centre here on campus.

    There are also other ways to meet gay women in the community. Check out this other OMGUW post which has lots of advice: http://www.ask.omguw.com/2013/10/5057.html

    A local community women, Melissa Sky, actually created a two frank and fun documentary films called "3 Questions" and "3 More Questions" which interviewed lesbians around the tri-cities area. The films might give you a little insight into the community, but probably not today's university centred community. Find out more here: http://tricityfilm.com/2011/06/22/the-skys-the-limit-tri-city-film-catches-up-with-director-melissa-sky/

    Have fun and lead with an open heart, OP.

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    1. ^OMG... I'm sorry for all of my typos. I was just writing this post out quickly :/

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  5. OP, even if you're shy, try online. Just meet in a group after chatting a bit online first, so that you feel comfortable. It's way more normal than you think.

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  6. Nearly-graduated lesbian here, reporting for duty. I got lucky because I was somehow surrounded with gay people in my residence. The GLOW group is pretty fun if you mesh with them. When I was new, I just didn't really click with the people who ran and attended Sapphic Mondays, although I tried. I did meet my now-girlfriend there though, and we've been dating several years now. I'm not sure if Sapphic is still running or not. Either way, I'd encourage you to check it out - it was usually some random lame craft while people talked (the latter being the real point of being there) and is a decent 'icebreaker'. I with they'd had boardgame nights back when I was looking for queer friends because I'd have been all over that - so take advantage of it on my behalf, if you like boardgames! The GLOW discussion group on wednesday is 99.9% men and you'll probably be the only woman there if you go. I used to attend and still had a good time, but I wouldn't particularly recommend it for making friends or meeting other queer women. Occasionally a straight girl would come along with her gay guy friend. That's about it.

    Seriously though, don't be shy about going to those GLOW events. The group these days is much more social and interactive than the group that was around during my freshman year. You need to announce yourself a little (as many of them are friends already and might mostly talk to each other). E.g. "hi, I'm new and shy and have no gay friends!" and any socially adept person will start asking you some icebreaker questions (like about your program or whatever) or chatting with you.

    There's no gay club anymore. Ren used to be amazing (not that clubs are ever great for meeting people, but they're fun, and at Ren you'd bump into a billion acquaintances and it'd help transition you from acquaintance to friend or romantic interest). It shut down. But Miss Drew (amazing drag queen in the area) said she'll be doing drag on thursdays at currently unrevealed venue, so I suspect whenever that happens they'll consider it a "gay night". Maybe Starlight or something.

    #1 is right that Little Bean is a really awesome coffee pub. They have live music some nights. I've never figured out how one is supposed to meet someone at a place like that though; everybody goes with friends, don't they? I haven't been in forever though.

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    1. (To make my long comment a little longer...) What I've realized about GLOW & Sapphic, and club participation in general, is that the people who actually make lasting friends are the people who:

      1. Show up EVERY week to 1 event like boardgame nights or whatever, and hang out in the glow office multiple times per week (friendship glooms with REPEATED interaction, you can't just go once every couple weeks like I did)

      2. Get actually involved in the club, e.g. volunteer to hold office hours or do other things to help organize the proceedings (friendships also bloom when you are 'forced' to interact with people and collaborate with them, and have unplanned but frequent interaction with them). If it makes you nervous to dive into that immediately, that's totally fine, get your toes wet first.

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