OMG UPDATE: Question? Answer.

Updated on Tuesday, February 25

#5971

QUESTION: For those who have experienced a breakup, could you tell that your relationship was failing? Were there any signs shown?

26 comments

  1. i recently broke up with someone. i wasnt showing any signs to be honest. he was too busy for me 99% of the time and id see him/talk to him once a week at best. there were no signs because he was never there to see them, and i kept making excuses for him myself so i wasnt ever upset by it.

    eventually i got tired of it and broke it off. i explained though. i told him i wasnt happy with the way things were and i understand that he's busy and whatnot but the entire situation wasn't working for me. as far as i could tell he was 0% upset over it and he just said "yeah i get it. im sorry. but i guess you have to do what makes you happy"

    in summary, if im being honest, i think my bf just wanted me to break up with him because he didnt have the balls to do it himself.

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  2. The signs for me were that I stopped looking forward to seeing him, I didn't actually want to spend time with him but I felt obligated to, whenever he called I felt annoyed instead of happy to talk to him, I made excuses not to spend the night at his place. The last sign was when I freely gave out my number to another guy at a club; that was the final wake up call for me that I was no longer happy with my relationship, and I broke up with him right after that.

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    1. Girls can't depend on attention from only one guy, they get bored with what they have and latch on to the next asshole who doesn't give a fuck about them.

      Typical.

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    2. wow 2a you are a cynical asshole

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  3. For my first relationship, I was the same as 2 except for the last part about giving my number to another guy at a club.

    For my second relationship, I could tell that he was losing interest. We didn't talk as much anymore, and when I talked to him, he never seemed very enthusiastic. He would make little effort in keeping conversations going. And then after not seeing each other for a while, he broke up with me.

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  4. If the reasons of why you fell each other no long apply. I think the emotional attraction you first create with someone defines the relationship to a sense. If they are no longer any of the things you first loved them for, then its probably going to cause a big strain on the relationship

    I don't buy into the "I'm with someone because I love them" bullshit. People are with people for specific reasons, some of them are shallow, like because she has big boobs or he's good in bed, but you love people for specific reasons, if those reasons no long apply, then maybe its time for you to re-evaluate the relationship

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  5. Yes, I could sense my girlfriend was falling out of love with me, when you are together with someone for years you can tell how they are feeling.

    And I couldn't do anything about it. It was a life lesson, girls aren't built to love forever, it doesn't matter how great you are, or how good you are to them. They get bored, they want attention, and only getting attention from one guy isn't enough.

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    1. No one's built to love forever. I'd have agreed with you had you not put a misogynistic spin on it.

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    2. It's silly to pretend that men and women have the same values. Females do not stand up to the standards of loyalty and respect that men abide by. Dont pretend that they aren't driven by their need for attention, when is the last time you saw a guy with a whole facebook album of selfies?

      Its the truth, and I admit it is a shitty one and does not paint women in the best light, but you dont have to search far to see its the case.

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    3. Holy fuck I want to punch you in the face right now.

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    4. Why, because it pissed you off? Well it should piss you off, and pisses me off, do you think I'm happy about it?

      If you are a dude, just sped some more time in this world and you'll feel like me one day. You think I ever thought I was gonna be this much of an asshole? The world turns you this way, 90% of the dudes I know feel this way in some capacity.

      And if you are a girl... well your anger just proves how your actions are dictated by your uncontrollabe emotions.

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    5. Looks like we have some jilted men in the room. @5d I know lots of nice guys who haven't been "turned into assholes" by the world. Once you find something that makes you feel happy and fulfilled you won't look at the world with such a negative perspective. I genuinely hope you find happiness and realize you don't have to be/view yourself as an asshole.

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    6. @5d

      It's not her fault she fell out of love with you. There are two reasons why should could have

      1) You weren't meant to be
      2) You are a boring and cynical asshole

      I'm leaning towards 2

      How would you feel if a girl said that all men can't stay in relationships because they just want to sleep around and have random sex? I'm a guy and I don't feel like that, and random sex was awesome.

      And yes I've had a girlfriend who I was in love with break up with me because she fell out of love with me.

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    7. 5d: Interesting. If a guy is angry by your philosophy it's because the 'world' forced them to be like that. But if a lady is angry, it's because they're crazy-emotional. Obviously I don't know you personally but from these comments you seem like an irrationally emotional person yourself.

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    8. "the standards of loyalty and respect that men abide by"? Tell that to all the cheating and/or asshole scumbag men out there. Just look at politicians for one. I'm pretty sure men and women are all human and as such there is a wide variety of them out in this 7billion+ populated world.

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    9. You guys are going to end up alone because of your shitty attitudes, and not for any other reasons.

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    10. would all you goddamn white knights shut the fuck up

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    11. Poor cynical, lonely man-children. Who will ever love them?

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  6. Yes. I've only had two breakups before, but the first one I fell out of love and was much like two described except the giving out their number part. The second, we started having issues over silly things and both started to lose interest in each other until he broke up with me.

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  7. Definitely realized I was losing interest when we had the same argument over and over and nothing changed. He expected things from me but when I asked the same of him he told me that he wasn't going to change. Some of the things that he expected - in the beginning of the relationship he had normal hygiene yet eventually his hygiene went down hill (he went very long in between showers, I think out of laziness - but if I came over and wasn't wearing make up he made negative comments about my appearance)....expecting me to basically become a part of his family while refusing to get to know my family (he acted like he cared in the beginning but always had an excuse as to why he couldn't come anytime I wanted him to meet my family, yet I was expected to go to his family get togethers often) we dated far too long for him not to have known my parents after I knew his so well. In the beginning of the relationship we also did lots of fun things together but eventually he refused to do anything outside of sitting in and watching tv. I would try to suggest fun things to do other than just that but he said going out was a waste of money (we split everything 50/50 normally, I offered to pay just so we could go out and he still refused). It was a case of him being a different person in the beginning and then assuming I would settle. Once I realized how unhappy I'd become after countless discussions about how I needed him to go back to the guy I met and him always shutting me down I got fed up and broke up with him. He said he knew I was unhappy but didn't think I would ever break up with him so he didn't think he needed to listen to what I needed. He asked me to take him back and said he would change but he had pushed me so far away by that point I had no interest in taking him back. When you feel yourself pulling away and you're ok with it you know in your gut the relationship is over.

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    1. Good for you for breaking up with him and not going back.

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  8. I think that in many relationships there are problems, but sometimes one or both of the people underestimate how big and thoroughly divisive those problems could end up being. You might think "this is a simple misunderstanding that can be cleared up" or "it doesn't bother me that much" but over time, that could change, especially as you get to know the other person better, and they present their position more clearly, and they get to know you.

    Sometimes what ends up being the reasons for the breakup are problems that have been there all along that have not been resolved to the satisfaction of both people.

    So, I would say a warning sign could be a problem that persists and does not get solved, or a clash of viewpoints or values that is more than surface-deep.

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