OMG UPDATE: Question? Answer.

Updated on Monday, February 10

#5893

QUESTION: My SO has already graduated and I have a few terms to go. I'm curious to know if this will anyway negatively effect our relationship. Has anyone been in a similar situation, would you tell me about the outcome? I'm worried we're both in different stages of our life and that may cause us to drift apart.

5 comments

  1. I hate to be a downer, but it sounds like you're boned. If your SO gets a great job offer somewhere else, are you going to try to hold them back? Or will you try to change universities to finish your degree nearby? The long distance thing can work, but from what I've seen, more often than not it doesn't. Just remember that statistics don't mean much when it comes down to the individual case but you'll have to work pretty hard if you want it to work.

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  2. No one here can answer this for you. Every relationship is unique and different so we can only speculate.
    It works for some, not for others. My only advice, based on the 7 years I have been with my SO (in school for most, him working for most), is you need to make an extra effort to communicate. And I mean both of you. You both need to clearly express your feelings and concerns and maintain an open dialogue at all times.

    How to start? Ask him/her what he/she thinks.

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  3. My SO has graduated and I have a few terms left to do. He lives in Toronto, I live in Waterloo. I see him on the weekends. I was worried about the same thing you were, OP, but because I'm almost finished school and he entered the job market not too long ago, we are still on the same page. We talk daily and make an effort to communicate. It's worked for us- we've never been in school at the same time. We work hard at our relationship and along with that, work hard to communicate openly. I think that if you are both dedicated to each other and maintaining your relationship, you can stay together!

    I agree with 2. Ask your SO how they are feeling about this!

    Best of luck :)

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    Replies
    1. +1
      Yay for healthy relationships!

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  4. My boyfriend graduated a few years ago, and there was definitely an adjustment period. First, he went through a super depressed phase when he couldn't find work right away (think that was about 6-7 weeks). Then he had a hard time adjusting to his new work schedule and trying to make time for himself. Both those things affected us, but we both got used to it and are just as happy.

    Like with any kind of relationship issue, if you both want it to work, it will. As far as a relationship issue, it's a very small one. I think you shouldn't stress out about this becoming a problem, and enjoy being together.

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