OMG UPDATE: Question? Answer.

Updated on Monday, February 10

#5887

QUESTION: I'm frustrated/discouraged and need input.

I was good friends with a girl for a few years. She did have some major life challenges and I tried to support her the best I could. We were best friends.

Until one day a few mutual friends told me she has been talking smack about me for some time. Things about how she doesn't think I deserve some awards I got, how she feels I "follow" her around. I started pulling away from her because I realized she really wasn't the friend I thought she was. I tried talk to her about it (started small) and she blew up at me and then accused me of ruining her friendships with our mutual friends and blamed her suicidal thoughts on me. She also tried to throw the bad things that had happened to her before in my face to make me feel pity for her.

I do accept some blame. Maybe I could have done something different or been more direct. But I felt the suicide thing was completely uncalled for and really heavy to put on someone.

Anyway. We don't talk now. She has completely blocked me out of her life and while I am happy to be over the daily drama and smack talk, I still feel like shit. I told her I wanted us to accept that we wont be best friends again, but that we can still hang out with mutual friends and be civil. She instead cut our entire circle of friends off (all my friends are happy about this). So I guess I just feel like I was tricked. I have a hard time making close friends I feel she blind sided me. I also feel so much guilt for not finding a way to make this work.

How do I let this guilt go? How do you know when to give up trying to fix a broken friendship?

6 comments

  1. Honestly, there's nothing to fix. The longer you stick with it, the more pain it's going to be in the long run. Just try to let go... it won't get better.

    It hurts, but trust me, waiting around and trying to keep it alive hurts more when it inevitably ends. This sounds like it can't go anywhere well.

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  2. This person sounds toxic and like a backstabber. It's hard to lose someone you thought of as a friend but in the long run you'll be better off without her. Not even being able to be civil around mutual friends and cutting people off is a very immature way of dealing with things. You probably feel played and it fucking sucks, but once you get over it you'll know you're better for it.

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  3. Crazy bitches gonna crazy. I think the best thing to do is to cut her out of your life like she did you. She's draining you, ragging on you, taking out all her shit on you and you get no benefit out of this "friendship". Don't feel bad giving her the snip. She's a user and nothing more. The suicide bit is just to try to get you to keep giving a shit about her after she's stopped giving a shit about you so that she can feel superior and special.
    She's like Regina George. She reciprocates your friendship then tries to make it seem one-sided ("Why are you so obsessed with me??") Honestly, I doubt that she's depressed or suicidal so much as the normal amount of sad that everyone feels and just looking out for attention. Don't give it to her. X her. Out. Done. And then just forget about it! If she never speaks to you again then you won't ever have to think about it again. If she tries to come crawling back then you just flick her away cause once a bitch always a bitch.

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    Replies
    1. Wow, so many assumptions and you don't even know this girl or her perspective - you know, her side of the story. You sound nastier than this apparent bitch.

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  4. Someone who talks about you behind your back is not your friend. How low do you think of yourself to consider this person someone worth salvaging a friendship with? She is trash. And what do we do with trash? We throw it away. Remember that.

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