OMG UPDATE: Question? Answer.

Updated on Tuesday, February 25

#5974

QUESTION: How do you let go of anger and move past trust issues?

8 comments

  1. Trust issues are hard because you can't trust someone half-way. I think the first step is to identify the fear that's holding you back. Once you know your fear you can start dealing with it.

    A few quotes that have helped me a lot are
    “The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”
    ― Ernest Hemingway
    “Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.”
    ― Maya Angelou
    “In the end, you have to choose whether or not to trust someone.”
    ― Sophie Kinsella

    Good luck.

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    Replies
    1. I disagree that you can't trust someone halfway. I think most people are trustworthy about some things and not reliable about others. I think it makes sense to think of trust not as some all-or-nothing thing, but as something that depends on the issue or aspect of a situation.

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    2. @1a, I agree with you that many people are only trustworthy about some things, but I think each individual act of trust is all-or-nothing.
      You can trust/distrust different things about them: their motives (eg: that they'll try to do right by you), their actions (eg: that they'll actually do what you expect of them), their integrity, their feelings, their skill, etc. independently, but at the end of the day, you decide yes or no, whether to trust this person with this thing.

      I think reasonable doubt and reservations are independent of trust, because in the end what matters is whether you count on them to come through. You either do or you don't.

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  2. Talk to someone you are close with, who you think is a good person.
    Do it again, and again, and the notion that you can trust people will begin to reinforce itself.
    Essentially, take a leap of faith.
    Source: getting over my own trust issues.

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  3. Start by trusting someone with the little things. If they seem to be supportive and kind and trustworthy, keep revealing parts of yourself. It is the only way.

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  4. John Gottman wrote a book about this. The title is "What Makes Love Last?: How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal." Gottman is a researcher who studies thousands of real life couples and then sees what actually works.

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  5. you don't, you let them consume you

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  6. 5 knows what's up. Let the anger and hate flow through you OP. Only then will you be strong enough with the dark side of the Force to make all your dreams come true :)...

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