OMG UPDATE: Question? Answer.

Updated on Monday, January 20

#5772

QUESTION: Is it weird if I am bi (female), but in a committed long term relationship with a male, and just want to meet some other lesbians or bi women to flirt with? Nothing serious, but just some innocent lady love? It is so hard to tell who is open to it. :(

14 comments

  1. If you want to flirt with other people then that doesn't seem too committed to your current relationship. Maybe break it off with your boyfriend first?

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  2. Are you okay with your boyfriend pursuing other girls to flirt with? Would you consider it disrespectful to flirt with other guys like this? You need to make sure this is well within the boundaries of your relationship. If it's not, you probably shouldn't be with this guy..

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    1. ^ Agreed. Think about the girl, too. I had this one lesbian friend who was clearly in love with her straight / bi-curious friend and the straight one would flirt with her and string her along even though it was clear that she was in a committed relationship with a guy. She loved the attention and didn't care that she was treating a friend badly to get it. Needless to say, our friend group has distanced ourselves from this particular girl lol.

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    2. I was pretty offended by the "innocent lady love". Guess lesbians aren't actual people anymore, just playthings.

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  3. If it's something you and your boyfriend have talked to and are open about then I guess it's fine.
    I'm also a bi female but I'm very monogamous so this would not be cool for me personally.

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  4. are you also going to let your boyfriend get other girls for some "innocent lady love"

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  5. You need to break up with your boyfriend first or convince him to have a 3-way because this is a really harsh/unfair thing to do to him.

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  6. You are confused. Are you committed or not?

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  7. This is unfair to bi or lesbian women looking for a relationship. Don't use us. I really hope you don't try to flirt with bi or lesbian women as if you are 'available'

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  8. if i was your boyfriend, I'd support this.

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    1. Clearly someone who had never been and will never be in this situation.

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  9. Whoa whoa (i'm the original poster). I am married. My husband encourages this as he knows it is a part of our relationship he can't fulfill. I have been with another women while married and he is 100% fine with it, it made us even closer. He is allowed to flirt with who ever he wants because guess what - I DON'T OWN HIM! And our relationship is much deeper than physical sex - it is based on love, respect and trust. And we recognize that our sexual urges towards others don't turn off as a result of marriage.

    Perhaps I should clarify what I mean by innocent lady love - I mean being able to talk to a girl who is into girls and have joking flirting - innocent stuff - where both parties know it won't go anywhere. I see girls and guys do it all the time. Most people see me, married to a man, and assume I can't like girls. 99% of the girls I know, have no idea I find girls attractive, so it makes it awkward to make comments about a cute girl, like we would about a guy. I just want some open minded girls that I can talk and joke about this stuff with - which sometimes includes some innocent flirting (you've all done it).
    I feel like I can't come out to anyone otherwise I have to explain (everything I said up there), and people either A) think I am bi for my husband's benefit (we have never had a 3some) or B) a cheating bitch

    I am by no means suggesting I would lead a girl on - my ring proves I am taken, as does my verbal note of being taken.

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    1. i just typed out this whole thing about how i have a good friend who is married to a man and in this exact situation but i see that you are too and omg i love u and your attitude towards everything in life be my friend please

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