OMG UPDATE: Question? Answer.

Updated on Monday, January 20

#5770

QUESTION: I have this fear that I'm not enough to be loved. I'm a decent person, do well in school, and think I'm on track to a good career, but I have unattractive facial features. No one has ever paid attention to me. I mean, I'm not looking to go out and have people swarm over me and flatter me, but I just want the normal things: partner, children, family... Anyone feel like this sometimes?

9 comments

  1. I feel that way too. :(

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  2. I used to feel like this and it cost me so many good things. The girl I dreamed of messaged me saying that she liked me and I didn't believe it was actually her because I couldn't believe it was true.

    The fact that you go to UW and believe that you are on the path to a good career (assuming you are not delusional) means you at least have enough dedication and smarts to get into a university and stick with it.

    Tons of people that are lesser than you have a partner with children and family. People with no careers have partners and children. You will find someone.

    But, help yourself! You make it a lot harder to find someone when you are lamenting being passed over and not paid attention to. It is up to you to look out for yourself- not anyone else.

    Be kind and put yourself out there. Likely, the less time spent behind a computer screen the better. The best way to meet new people is to go to places where people who have similar interests to you will be. This means joining clubs to do with things you enjoy or trying something new that you think you might enjoy.

    Being embarrassed is pointless. Feeling sorry for yourself is pointless. Act to make your life better. Fake it until you make it.

    A ripped body will make you attractive whether your face looks good or not. Think about it. Do you need your partner to look perfect, 10/10? No, you just need to be attracted to them. If you feel you are not attractive the best thing to do is diet and exercise. Research the correct exercise program for you before starting, don't just listen to any advice you hear.

    If you need to learn social skills, learn them. Read books about body language and flirting and dating strategies. Start by going on a dating site or finding speed dating or meet up events. Take a partnered dance class.

    Take responsibility for this aspect of your life as much as you take responsibility for your career path and you will have success.

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    Replies
    1. Not OP - but nice reply, thanks.

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    2. This is such a great response. Although I don't have the same issues, I think this is wonderful. Being attractive shines from the inside (honestly... it does). Looks are not as relevant as people make them seem. Those things listed above... confidence, social skills, ambition, being kind... those are the things that make people attractive.

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    3. Fake it until you make it is complete bullshit. Other than that I agree with your comment 2.

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    4. Totally agree with this comment.

      Be yourself and be confident - being confident makes you so much more attractive.

      I hope that someone will see you for who you are inside instead of outward appearances. After all, what's on the inside is what matters :)

      Good luck OP! :)

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  3. Hey 2. I struggle with the exact same insecurities as OP and your answer really helped me. Also, OP I feel like I am in the same boat.

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  4. No, luckily I'm pretty hot.

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