OMG UPDATE: Question? Answer.

Updated on Tuesday, December 17

#5591

QUESTION: Sometimes I feel like I'm getting weird looks when I'm with my boyfriend... He's Asian and I'm white. Is it all in my head or do people still judge things like that?

24 comments

  1. Trust me, people judge you way less than you think they do, most of them are too caught up in their own lives to care about such things

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  2. nobody gives a shit ok just relax

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  3. Lol. I'll admit I'm one of those people who will stare if a white girl is with an Asian guy. It's just cause most white girls don't usually go for Asian guys (like myself).

    Mostly, I'll just think in my head "Nice!" Then go on with my life.

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  4. #1 has no idea what their talking about. Yes they do, of course they do!

    Pay attention to commercials with couples for let's say the next month. Take note of how many (rather few, if any) have interracial couples. That's no coincidence, people simply aren't comfortable with it in general/overall.

    You may say the commercial thing is anecdotal, but they're selling a product, there's a science behind it. The one commercial with an interracial couple I can think of is a Cheerios? commerical. And people were thrown into virtual hysteria about it; Cheerios had to publicly respond!

    So no it most certainly isn't in your head. People love to make judgements on couples (i.e. who's too good for their counterpart), certainly happens in interracial couples as well. Oh and of course inb4 - the couple of people saying "liberally brainwashed white girls are stolen by these animals from other races blah blah blah"

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    1. I think that Cheerios reaction was mostly an American phenomenon. Also consider that advertisers and trying to get to the widest possible market so it makes sense to play it safe when it comes to displaying interracial or homosexual couples in advertisements. People who are comfortable with with said couples won't be put off by seeing a same sex/race couple, but those who aren't comfortable with it who are likely a vocal minority, may raise a stink which the advertiser probably doesn't want to deal with. So I think you're right, but I think it's a minority of the population that makes any sort of judgments.

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    2. http://i.imgur.com/yQbIq36.png

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    3. SO many insurance companies and banking companies are using asian female and white males in their commercials.

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    4. Get their/they're right first, then maybe I'll listen to what you have to say.

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    5. Ah 4d. The classic I don't have a point so I'll attack your grammar instead.

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  5. I'll care for one second and will go on about my day..

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  6. I'd probably just be like "awww".

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  7. I would think "she must have still have a very tight vagina" or "she must prefer smaller penis sizes" if I saw this on the street.

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  8. There are definitely people out there who will judge you and take time out of their day to do it. My boyfriend isn't the same ethnicity, and the large majority of people don't react negatively whatsoever. The few who do care though.. I'm South Asian, and in some places with a lot of other South Asians, goddamn, the stares are constant and some are downright nasty.

    I'll emphasize that most people don't care. I'd bet most those looks are people playing "interracial couple bingo" in their head and they just landed a new one. If they seem angry, I just give my boyfriend a hug/kiss/smile and let them get angrier. Fuck those people.

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    1. I really want to play interracial couple bingo now... Free space on the White male/Asian female square cause that's my relationship! XD

      Yes I'm being flippant. I legitimately don't think it's an issue, so just ignore the ones who think it is and love your SO :)

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  9. maybe they are but who cares it's the 20th century

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  10. I stare, while in my head thinking: "YES, ANOTHER MIXED COUPLE!! ACCEPTANCE!! EQUALITY!!"
    Go you! :)))
    -girl in a mixed relationship

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  11. I've been in 2 interracial relationships (I'm white, both guys were chinese). I don't notice many stares from strangers anymore (although, I was taller than one of the guys and I used to notice a lot more stares when we'd go out together.) Now though, people usually just compliment my bf and say that he's lucky to have found someone so pretty... on the other hand though, I know some people who have asked me why I would date an asian guy, and honestly it agitates me. I don't really discriminate when choosing partners. I just like someone who I'm attracted to and can feel comfortable around, which doesn't depend on race.

    Although, I experienced a lot of awkwardness around my ex's friends, who were all chinese. Like, when I would go eat at their house, they would refer to me as "the white girl" and call me a foreigner, which I couldn't deal with in the end.

    Seeing other interracial couples makes me very happy though!

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  12. People are probably just surprised because it's something you don't see too often. I don' t think they're judging.
    My ex was asian, so I've been there!

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  13. White girls are easy meat. We're just laughing at you.

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  14. OP I am in the same situation and I feel a similar way. I agree with what people are saying, that for most people it's just a little surprising because it's something they don't usually see. Some people actually have a problem with it, but even if they do it's none of their business and they should just keep it to themselves.

    The people who seem the most surprised are some of my friends. I think it's caused some tension between me and them since my boyfriend and I started dating. They don't really understand why I would go for him and it really pisses me off...But I try my best not to let it get to me. Maybe I need some better friends...

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  15. Basically, white people are some how deemed the most attractive race. Consequenlty because you're white people will think anything other than a white man is beneath you. It's a shocker seeing you with an asian because most people think that no white woman would go for someone that most white girls think is beneath them. Espically if you're attractive, people will be even more confused. I'm making a lot of assumptions here and you might think my logic is really fucked up. But this is just a window into reality.

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  16. Reality is that throughout the majority of the world there is a negative stigma attached to dating someone out of your race. It's partly genetics (I use that term loosely to try to make the point) - stick to your tribe, it has been engrained in the human race for thousands of years.

    Obviously I think interracial couples are fine, I feel no differently than if they were not, but that deeply engrained stigma will be present. Most of Canada is lucky, but you don't even have to drive too far into the USA to find out what the majority of people truly think.

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