OMG UPDATE: Question? Answer.

Updated on Monday, December 16

#5577

QUESTION: How do you deal with a long distance relationship?
My boyfriend and I have been together for two years, and lived together for the past 8 months, but we're about to be on other sides of the country for co-op, and wont see each other for four months.
Any tips for handling this situation?

13 comments

  1. Skype a lot. Surprise visits.

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    1. OP here. Visits are not an option. We both are on co-op and don't have time off to travel. To put it in perspective, I'll be in northern Alberta working in the oil sands, 4 days a week 12 hours a day, and he will be working for a company in Toronto, where he works shift work and doesn't have a standard schedule to plan around. Skype is definitely something we'll have to do.

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  2. Four months is nothing. I've been in a long distance since the past year and I've only seen my boyfriend for 7 days in the last year. You can get through this.

    The first month is going to be incredibly hard (I was super weepy and felt empty all the time) but it gets easier. Talk on the phone for a good amount of time at least once a day, unless superbusy. Skype once a week. Invest in calling cards. Avoid jealousy. Stay busy with work and school and friends. Be interesting and do cool things so you can talk about it over the phone. You could try watching the same things while on Skype. My boyfriend and I started a music blog because we have a lot to say on the subject anyway. We sing and record things for each other and email it once in a while. I did videologs for him at the very beginning.
    Visit if close enough to do so.
    Don't be insecure.

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    1. Hey thanks for your reply. Skype and phone calls daily seem like my best bet. I know it will be hard though, cause I'm going to a new place where I don't have any connections. I don't get jealous so that will be nice. And I think just being able to do things like play dota together after work will make him seem closer.

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  3. Communicate, communicate, communicate. Like others have already said, skype/talk to each other a lot.

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  4. It is going to be tough, but you can definitely do it. Figure out between yourselves how often you are comfortable talking. Some people need to talk every day, others less. Sometimes it's nice to just 'hang out' together in some way, so online games or watching things together can be fun, even if you're not really into that normally. It helps to express your affection more than usual, because without the physical connection, your relationship can start to feel very distant. For your own sake, get involved with the people around you and try some new activities to keep yourself busy. Look forward to the amazing reunion you will have at the end of four months!

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  5. My boyfriend went on an exchange this semester and won't be back till the end of Jan. it's been hard but we try to Skype whenever we have free time, and we both like video games so we play games together online. Find an activity you two can do together even though you're far apart. He's 5 hours ahead of me so sometimes finding time can be hard but if we can do it so can you! He doesn't have any connections either, but you can make new friends and since you're working so much the time will go by much quicker. Good Luck and stay positive!

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  6. I am in a long distance relationship since last two years. I have seen him just once in these two years. And will see him just once for another three years. We live in different countries btw just in case you are wondering why we don't meet often. 12000 km apart, but still getting stronger each day. The key here is communication. It becomes very important when distance gets in between. Skype often, there's always texting and try to talk on phone at least every two days or so. It's hard in the beginning, but trust me, if we can get through this, you can too. Plus, it's just four months. Also trust is very important. It works like the base for a long distance relationship. As someone mentioned above, express yourself. Because your SO won't be next to you to notice your facial expressions or your body language to judge what's going on in your mind. If you miss him way too much, try to occupy yourself in some work. Keep your mind busy. I personally believe LDR can really take your connection with your partner onto a different level. So be positive. Good luck ! You can do it !

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    1. Oh and record audio notes. They don't necessarily have to be long. Listening to your voice for even a couple of minutes at the end of the day would be a boost to your partner's mood (especially if he's had a long day at work, or something). Video messages too, if you don't think you will be able to skype that often.

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  7. My boyfriend and I just Skyped every night. Its hard to deal with a long-distance relationship, but you just need to find creative ways to have fun together without physically being there.

    I would send Snapchat snippets of my life to him during the day. Text each other sometimes. No need for long conversations. Good morning or good night texts were sweet. Let's you know that they were thinking about you. Watch a movie together, play truth on Skype. How to deal with it and make the relationship lasts requires effort from both parties- and that's how it was. We always made the effort to Skype, text, message, talk, etc.

    We're still together, but each time we see each other after long periods of time, they can be extra special. I sometimes see it as meeting them all over again, which is one of my favourite moments that I experienced with my boyfriend.

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  8. The one time I had a longish distance relationship (Ottawa to Waterloo) we would text all day everyday, Skype ever couple days. We didn't talk much over the phone because we found skyping easier, except when I was walking to my room, to be private, and dropped my laptop on the way. She came to visit once, I couldn't take enough time off work to visit. The relationship was based more on sex than love, so it ended up falling apart during the school term after co-op. We started near the end of the term, when I was spending more time at home studying rather than on campus working on assignments until the last bus, and she wasn't prepared for how busy I get during a school term. She was from Laurier, and I think might have been in it for the money that I made her think I will one day have lots of.

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  9. I've been doing looong distance for almost 4 years now, and we're doing pretty great. I used to see him for a couple weeks, 3 times a year, but we've cut back to every 6 months. We cam as often as possible and keep in touch throughout the day (texting, facebook etc.). Don't have major discussions over text, do it face-to-face. Also, don't let issues fester too long, with the idea of resolving them when you're together in person. Since you have a clear date when you'll be together again, it really won't be terrible. I joined a forum a few years back, and it's really nice knowing other people are in the same boat.

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    1. I'm actually waiting at the airport right now and I'll see him soon!! :D

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