OMG UPDATE: Question? Answer.

Updated on Saturday, December 14

#5561

QUESTION: Need some advice.

I've been in a relationship with this guy for about a month, we had need seeing each other for about a month prior. I've noticed that he's very clingy as in he has to talk to me all the time and wants to see me all day everyday. I'm someone who likes my own space and he doesn't seem to get it. I've been considering breaking up for the past week but don't want to do it now as he's writing exams.

Any advice on how I might be able to get him to understand I need a little me time, and to not be so serious so fast? Or on how to break it to him?

Ps. He is also a little insecure because of past relationships

10 comments

  1. Just say you're busy studying.

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    1. Don't do this. If a girl doesn't like me or doesn't want to continue a relationship, it would be so much easier if she just fucking said so.

      Just grow some balls (figuratively speaking) and tell him your concerns. "I like you, but I'm the kind of girl that needs space." or Just straight up, "I find you're pretty clingy."

      This way you give him a chance to actually try and alter his behaviour, maybe he doesn't realize he's annoying you. Don't just avoid him. Solves nothing.

      If the situation doesn't improve just tell him its not working out. SImple.

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    2. Yes and then break up with him during the break, why make his marks suffer.

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  2. I'm a guy and would rather you be straight up and tell me. Why beat around the bush and allow things to worsen? Just tell him. May get weird for a bit but he'll understand

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  3. Just talk to him honestly, tell him you can't continue if he doesn't give you space. People always need to be honest and do it quickly, if it builds up then you're just gonna start hating him and he will feel like an idiot.. Mention casually (no threat or anger in your tone) but seriously (tell him possible consequences)

    If you're worried about his exams, it's almost over so just talk next week. If he's unwilling to cooperate then dump him.

    I was actually in a similar relationship once, I felt that the guy was obsessed but I didn't realize how much it bothered me until I had some personal/family crisis and he still wouldn't give me space, with the stress and everything, I just broke and dumped him over a text, HORRIBLE mistake! He was still obsessing about what went wrong 2 years later and he still wants to be with me (5 years later) .. Point: don't wait till you can't handle it anymore, it will blow over and it's fuckin annoying!

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    1. Oh man..same thing happened to me. It fucking sucks.
      If you don't tell them what's really wrong (so that you won't hurt their feelings or something) then they just obsess over you and when you don't respond then they start to blame you for everything later

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  4. I would talk to him about it. I'm pretty old fashioned in the sense where if I'm in a "relationship" with someone, it means to me that I can't just walk away. You fix what's broken, not throw it away.

    Maybe he just doesn't realize that it's bothering you and he's just trying to be there for you during exams? A lot of people in the world are there when it's convenient for them, it sounds like he likes you a fair bit if he's making time during exams, maybe he'll even be relieved you want alone time too?

    Just be careful what you wish for though, cuz it could backfire. As a fairly independent individual myself, if someone told me I was "clingy" I'd walk away so fast they won't have time to say goodbye.

    But! merry xmas and best of luck on all your future romantic endeavours

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  5. Break up with him, please. You don't deserve him.

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  6. I don't understand how you are in a relationship but dislike seeing him every day and need your own space. I don't know how *clingy* he is, but in a relationship, where both parties are in the same city or on the same campus, wanting to get together every day and talk every day isn't clingy.

    It sounds to me OP that you don't actually want a relationship at all. So politely break up with him so he can be with someone who does.

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  7. OP, ignore some of these judgmental people. This is totally normal! Some people are more independent than others. Personally, if I see my s/o too often I get bored. Absence makes the heart grow fonder! I would be straight up- "this is too much of a commitment for me, I'm busy, I need to make time to hang out with other friends, can we rain check our date today, etc" Communication is one of the most important aspects of a relationship. I'm sure he would appreciate if you're honest with him

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