OMG UPDATE: Question? Answer.

Updated on Saturday, December 7

#5539

QUESTION: So I've been dating this girl for some time now and everytime things start to get hot and heavy between us, I have trouble pitching my tent (sometimes I lose it too quickly and other times I can't at all). I don't know why, I'm in good health and I find her reasonable attractive (and yes, I'm definitely straight). Could it be from too much porn? It's getting in the way of our relationship and I don't want her to feel bad and think she's not attractive enough. It's almost as if everytime we're about to do it, all I think about is the last time I couldn't perform and the cycle repeats itself. How do I get out of this cycle without resorting to drugs?

10 comments

  1. If you're anything like what I went through, there's a huge mental aspect to it now. It's in the back of your head and it's fucking with you now.

    I would recommend that you stop masturbating until you put in some good performances, gain some confidence, and then you won't even be worried about it at all anymore. Trust me, stop masturbating for long enough, the wind will blow and you're dick will get hard.

    http://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap can help keep you honest.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You're too young to already be taking Viagra. I'm only going on what you said here, but like 1 said, your mind is fucking with you.

    My boyfriend and I started out being inexperienced to the point where we almost had sex three times a day. That being said though, I never orgasmed and would fake it every single time, and it was all I thought about in my head during sex.

    It wasn't until then I started to push things off aside and slow things down, thinking about how it feels and not how it should feel. I started thinking about my boyfriend, rather than faking it for my boyfriend.

    Tell her she's beautiful, tell her how much she turns you on, think about how much you want to touch her, and think only about that. Forget about losing it, forget about it even going up.

    The intimacy is much more satisfying when you do focus on her, rather than your incapability to get it up and going.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think you have some performance anxiety issues. Since it isn't a new thing to you, you probably think that when you get intimate with your girl that this is going to happen to you again sub consciously, which makes you lose your erection.

    Maybe you guys should try to start slow with foreplay, as you try to relax yourselves into sex. If you think it might be too much porn, then maybe you should kick the habit for a bit and even stop masturbating for a while.

    Just try to relax when you are with her. Yes, it is easier said and than but with some work and determination, it will happen. After all, the human mind can be the biggest cockblocker known to man.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *easier said than done.

      Man, I cannot type tonight.

      Delete
  4. You should relax first and just clear your head and enjoy it. Then, you only cum fast because it feels so good (she can take that part as a compliment... maybe) BUT you should please her and to do that you're gonna need practice, not too much that you overuse your penis but practice does help.. once a day?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The problem is not that he is cumming fast.

      People on this site are just a bunch of down syndrome faggots that can't read.

      @OP

      If you're thinking "am I watching too much porn?" the answer is probably yes.

      Porn is a tricky thing.

      Try - completely cutting porn off for two weeks (after exams - let's not get crazy here) and stop masturbating for those two weeks.

      Your dick will be working by then.

      Delete
  5. I have first hand experience with this. My partner and I have faced these issues for several years. When we first got together he was fine, but over time it started to happen. It turned out that he had a few fantasies that we could safely play with. When he was able to lose himself in the fantasy he had no issues at all. If you have any desires that you haven't expressed to your partner or scenarios/positions that you'd like to try but haven't, I suggest testing them out. You might just lose yourself in the moment and forget all about your previous experiences. Best of luck to you! :D If you can masturbate successfully you don't need drugs to overcome this problem.

    ReplyDelete
  6. OP do you use any recreational drugs? including alcohol

    ReplyDelete
  7. It happens OP. And as everyone has said, it's all in your head.

    In my experience if you have the thought, "I need to get hard" then you're going to focus on needing to get hard. The problem is that this thought is stressful; getting hard is linked to stressors such as performance anxiety, intimacy, masculinity, an expression of lust/love, etc. All of a sudden your mind is occupied by these stressful notions and BAM within a few moments your soft. And at that point it can be hard to recover because of feelings of disappointment and failure.

    This has happened to me early in my experiences, and occasionally crops up again. My advice is simple and easier said then done: Don't think about getting hard.

    Think about anything else. Think about just enjoying the moment. Move slowly. Be relaxed. Be playful. Think about pleasuring the other person in ways that don't require you to be hard; seeing the pleasure you give someone else can help with your own motivation.

    Maybe avoid thinking about porn though, maybe: porn is associated with getting hard in your experience. The idea is that the reason your thinking about porn is because you want to get hard, so by association you're still thinking about getting hard, which may still be coupled with other stressors.

    Of course, as others have suggested, cut out the porn for a while and masturbation. This will work to provide motivation in other, more physiological ways.

    ReplyDelete